


Vendetta, sweet vendetta...

by Rinnoa



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe, Developing Friendships, F/F, F/M, Fake Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Magic, Multi, References to Depression, Reunions, Revolution, Slow Burn, Weapons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-08-31 00:19:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 26,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8555317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinnoa/pseuds/Rinnoa
Summary: He thought nothing else could surprise him. Not after everything that has happened in the past week. But then he saw him, standing at the front, next to the guy with godly abs. Messy blond hair, calculating blue eyes, and that frown.Seems like his ex-best friend wasn’t quite as dead as he had believed.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again! This time I'm trying something longer than a one- or twoshot. The plotline has been circling in my mind for a few months, and I finally had enough time to write it. Well, the first two chapters of it, at least. 
> 
> I'll be trying to update bi-weekly, but I make no promises. Life is kind of hectic right now. 
> 
> There will be other characters/ships, but the appropriate tags will be added all in due time. 
> 
> The characters and song lyrics do not belong to me. They belong to their respective creators. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy, and as always, sorry for any mistakes!

* * *

_Living a life of misery_  
_Always there, just underneath_  
_Haunting me, quietly alone_  
_It’s killing me, killing me_

* * *

 

Death.

It seems so finale, that word. People seem so afraid of the process, the process that was, after all, natural. You were born, you lived your life, you died. It was simple. Everything had a beginning and an end. Even a human existence.

And yet so few people were ready to greet death like an old friend. Most were afraid of sickness, afraid of hurt, of the eternal darkness and the unknown. Because that’s what death was. An unknown. No one really died and then came back to life and said ‘Hey, the life after death is fantastic’. No one could even really prove whether there _was_ anything after death at all. Hell, heaven, rebirth. They were all guesses, assumptions that people made to help themselves feel better about the concept of death. They wanted there to be something after they died, something that would be a proof that living was not worthless.

Roxas wasn’t religious. He couldn’t understand the concept of a God, who supposedly loved his ‘children’, but didn’t do anything to help with poverty, with hunger. Many tried to excuse that behaviour, say it was His way of teaching people responsibility for their actions and maybe even teaching them a lesson. But these words were usually spoken by privileged, fed, wealthy ones, who could go back to a warm home and meal every night during a particularly nasty winter night. What was the point of teaching the weak, the hungry, the poor the lesson, if the ones who ruled never benefited from it? After all, they wouldn’t be touched by it, so how would they learn?

Roxas’ family wasn’t poor. They weren’t the richest, but they were wealthy enough to live in comfort. Roxas wasn’t stupid enough to not appreciate the money he had, knew many would have been more than grateful to have even one hundredth of that. But he also knew that money wasn’t everything, couldn’t ever be everything, no matter how his parents played it.

Sure, it paid his hospital bills after he’d end up severely injured after one of his father’s episodes. It paid for his brother’s anti-depressants, which he honestly didn’t need, but their parents needed to blame Ventus’ sadness on something, and they certainly wouldn’t blame _themselves_. Money was a good enough bribe to keep the neighbours and the police silent, turning a blind eye to the abuse that sometimes fell on the twins. After all, Roxas’ parents were good, respectable lawyers. Surely if they hit the boys’ once or twice a week, it was for good reason. Like drugs, or alcoholism. Not that the Strife family would _ever_ have any problems like such, not a good, model family like them, no.

It was a mockingly nice day in Twilight Town. The sun was shining brightly in the sky, its’ greatness not disturbed by anything. It was warm, but the light wind stopped it from getting unbearably hot. Birds were chirping happy melodies and laughter could be heard all around the neighbourhood. It was a wonderful day to go out and play with friends, celebrate the start of a lovely weekend. It was almost summer, school would be out in two weeks, and that only kept the children and teenagers all the more energized.

It made Roxas feel unbearably lonely.

He looked to the side, his eyes landing on the finally asleep form of his twin. Ventus cried himself to sleep again, and Roxas felt a pang of guilt. Whenever their father had one of his moods, he always took it out on Roxas. Not because he hated him more, no, the blond was sure his father hated both of them equally. He took it out on Roxas because the boy took on Cloud’s role. The shield. Anything to keep his sibling safe. That _enraged_ the older man, and though he never touched a single hair on Ventus’ head, he made sure that Roxas took a beating for two. Sometimes three, if the man remembered that Cloud had once been his son, too. 

Whenever Roxas would take a beating, Ventus would always sneak into his room and patch him up. Tend to the cuts and bruises on his body, bandage up anything that needed it. Never the face, or anything that could be seen by public eye. Their father wasn’t stupid enough. All the proof was kept under the clothes. But Ventus wasn’t a ‘public eye’. He was Ven, and Roxas had no secrets from him. So Ventus saw the cuts, the bruises, the dried blood, sometimes cigarette burns. And he tended to them, always. And he cried for Roxas, apologizing for not being able to do anything else to help. Always. And it always, always broke the older twin’s heart.

Now, lulled to sleep by tears and Roxas’ reassured whispers, Ventus clung tightly to the black and white blanket, his face finally relaxed. Whenever the two of them ended like that, Roxas sitting by the window with bandages all over his ribs, and Ventus passed out on the bed from hours of treating the wounds, that one thought entered Roxas’ mind.

Death.

How many times had he planned his and his brother’s death? Too many times to count.

He’d kill Ven first. Give him enough sleeping pills to stop his heartbeat. Then, just in case, he’d prepare everything for arson. The fire would break out in his room, which had always been more like _their_ room. Ventus rarely slept in his own room. Even if the pills didn’t do the job, the fire would. But he hoped, oh he hoped, that the pills would do their job. He’d light the fire and then it would be a battle with time. Would the fire burn him alive? Or would the rope, already ready and hanging from the ceiling, take away his breath first? It wouldn’t matter. He was ready to suffer, as long as he was the one dealing himself the final blow. Not his father, him. He, at least, wanted to choose his death.

He’d never told Ventus about these thoughts. They had always been safely tucked away in the darkest corners of his mind, not to be shared with anyone. Not even Axel.

Roxas smiled bitterly at the thought of his redheaded friend. _Ex_ -friend was probably a better  term, though.

In all the darkness, Axel had been his light, his fire, guiding him through another day. Him and Cloud, and Ventus of course, had always served as his guardians, keeping him sane in all the sadness.

But Cloud disappeared first, and then Axel turned away, too.

They had been friends for years. Seven, or maybe it was eight already, Roxas wasn’t sure. Roxas told him almost all of his intimate secrets, and in return, the redhead confined in him too. They were the perfect definition of ‘best friends’, joined at the hip most of the time. Though Axel was mostly his friend, the older boy had never had anything against Ventus hanging out with them. And both twins sometimes needed to spend time together in a happier setting, too. And since Roxas wasn’t really all that fond of Ven’s then-friends, his younger brother would sometimes join him and Axel on the clock tower.

It was all perfect and good up until Axel started hanging out with these high school kids. Then the parties started, and smoking, and alcohol, and drugs. And then Axel started ditching him more often, but that was fine. Everything was better than what came next. What was _now_. What had been said not even twenty four hours before.

Roxas shook his head, trying to get the thoughts of the redhead out of his mind. He didn’t need it right now. He didn’t need to hear that voice in his mind, taunting and cruel and so unlike Axel, saying something so awful. It was enough that he’d heard it once, he didn’t need to keep repeating it in his head and agonizing over it. He had other, more important things to worry about than some backstabbing redheaded assholes anyway.

Like getting away.

‘Right, like that ended so well for Cloud’ Roxas thought bitterly, his eyes turning to the laughing kids below his window.

Cloud was five years older than the twins. As soon as he turned eighteen, he packed his bags and left. That wasn’t completely true, but that’s the version their parents had believed. In truth, Cloud had been telling the twins about his plan – plan to get away, to look for help somewhere else, somewhere where people wouldn’t be prone to bribes their parents had to offer – for months before the actual event. He’d promised to come back for them, and they had never once doubted his sincerity. Cloud had always protected them, and they knew that this time would be no different. And then August 19th came and gone, and with it Cloud did as well. A month passed, then another, and another. They hadn’t heard anything about the older Strife until about a week ago, when police from Nibelheim called to inform their parents that he was found dead in one of the villagers’ sheds. 

Roxas shut his eyes tightly, feeling the familiar sting in them. He hadn’t cried when he’d heard about the news, hadn’t cried when his parents told the police they weren’t interested in holding a ceremony in Twilight Town and would organise one in Nibelheim instead. They made it sound like they didn’t want their poor son’s body to suffer from such a long trip, but honestly, they probably didn’t want the people talking.

His brother’s funeral was today, and he couldn’t even attend it.

His best friend told him that ‘stupid fags like him should just go ahead and kill themselves’ .

His father beat the shit out of him again because, somehow, the ever nosy Ms. Robenard found out about Cloud’s death and told everyone in the neighbourhood this morning.

His mother, as always, pretended that everything was fine, as she forced six anti-depressant pills into Ventus’ tightly shut mouth.

His twin brother cried himself to sleep again.

And Roxas? Roxas was fucking powerless.

Just then, a rock hit the window he was sitting by, startling him so much he let out a quiet yelp. Unfortunately, it was loud enough to jolt Ven awake. Furious, because his brother had only just fallen asleep, he opened the window, ready to yell at whoever had thrown the rock. He didn’t care if it was a four year old kid or a gangster that could beat him within an inch of his life, the bastard woke up Ven and deserved some serious trashing.

All words died on his lips when he gazed at the person standing below, though. He’d never seen her around town, and while Twilight Town wasn’t exactly the smallest, it was small enough that he’d remember someone like her.

She was older than him, probably around Cloud’s age. She was very pretty, far prettier than any girl he’d ever seen in town.  Her hair was dark and long, tied into something resembling a dolphin tail at the tips. The short, white tank top left her stomach open, showing a well-sculpted six-pack to the world. Though most of the people – men or no – would probably be looking at her breasts, which were decidedly impressive in size. Her stance alone oozed self-confidence, and the expression on her face only seemed to add to her strength. This woman, Roxas was sure, could kick anyone’s ass to hell and back again if they dared to even look at her the wrong way.

“Hi!” she smiled at him brightly, and he blinked once, wondering if she got the wrong house. Ventus peered over his shoulder, and the brunette’s eyes were instantly fixed on him. She waved at him cheerfully and Ven’s cheeks reddened.

“Do you need something?” Roxas asked her finally, a little amused by his brother’s embarrassment. It was silly how bad Ven was with girls.

“Yes, actually. Would you mind coming down? I feel like an idiot yelling like that” Roxas considered that for a moment. He had no idea who that girl was. For all he knew, she could be a crazy murderer that just ran away from some facility. Or she could be one of Axel’s new ‘friends’, coming here to mock him or something of the sort. He wouldn’t put it past these stupid idiots to do that. But no, she wasn’t from this town, Roxas was sure. No girl would dress like that in this backwater, conservative, stupid little town. And so, with a shrug, he nodded.

“Sure. Be right down” Ventus looked at him with wide eyes, his cheeks still flushed.

“Rox, are you sure this is a good idea? When _they_ hear about this-“

“They probably won’t be back for the weekend. It’s fine, Ven. Don’t worry. She’s not from here, maybe she just wants to ask for directions or something”

“Yeah, maybe, but you know he’d use anything against you. And he already hurt you so badly, there’s no way that-“ Roxas put a finger against his brother’s lips, shushing him. He sent him a smile, or what he hoped was a smile and not a wince, because his ribs hurt something awful whenever he moved.

“It’s fine, Ven. Come on, let’s not leave her waiting. Maybe she’ll say yes if you ask her out for dinner” Ventus spluttered with protest, the redness returning to his cheeks with full force. Roxas snickered, moving around his twin towards the door. Whoever the girl was, he’d have to thank her. She made their day better, if only a little bit.

She was already waiting by the door by the time they got there. She was even more stunning from up close, that much even Roxas had to admit. And he didn’t exactly bat for that team, as far as he was aware.

“Aw, you’re even cuter than what Cloud’s been saying. Was he this cute when he was fourteen, too?” she asked, and any and all amusement disappeared from Roxas’ face. He pulled Ventus behind himself, his shoulders tensing. She must have noticed, but only smiled and pushed her way into the house.

“Close the door, Roxas. Wouldn’t want these nosy neighbours of yours to eavesdrop” she wasn’t looking at him as she said that, examining the house with little interest. Her eyes stayed on the pictures, all of them showing Roxas’ parents, and he thought he heard her scoff. When he noticed few of the neighbours’ kids peering at them with interest, he shut the door, making sure that Ven was still behind him.

“How do you know my name? And how do you know Cloud?” he could feel Ventus grasping his hand and squeezing it tightly at the mention of their older brother.

The girl turned around slowly, grinning at them brightly. Then, with a swift, practised movement, she reached under her tight black skirt and took out a gun. She pointed it at Roxas’ forehead, her sweet smile not once leaving her face.

Roxas could feel Ventus tremble behind him, and he did his best to stop a shiver of his own as his eyes locked on the shiny gun.

“My name’s Tifa Lockhart. I’m a friend of Cloud’s. I promised to free you from your suffering. I’m sorry it has to be this way. Tell me, are you afraid of death?”

xxx

Axel laughed loudly as he stumbled into his house, waving to his friends. They were all fuzzy colourful blobs to him, but it didn’t matter. Actually nothing really mattered right now. He felt _great_. A bit dizzy, and maybe like he’d hurl soon, but right now it was awesome.

He tripped over something, landing on the floor with a loud thud. Something about this amused him immensely and his laughter got louder.

“Axel? What the fuck, do you have any idea what- are you fucking high?” the colours and the world were spinning, mixing into one, but Axel was almost sure it was Reno yelling at him. Probably. His parents were away on another business trip, and he couldn’t think of anyone else with that much red on their head. Not like he cared at the moment.

“Nooope” he laughed, not registering that someone was pulling him up.

“Get up. Fuck, you smell like shit, yo. What the hell man? It’s four in the fucking morning, where the hell have you been?”

But Axel had long since lost interest in his brother, his focus now entirely on the walls that were spinning. He felt something churning in his stomach, a sudden wave of nausea sweeping over him. He probably threw up, but he wasn’t sure. Didn’t really care. The last thing he remembered before blacking out was Reno’s outraged yell.

When he woke up the next morning, his head was killing him and the bright light wasn’t helping at all. He groaned loudly, trying to shield his eyes from the brightness with his pillow. At least it was his pillow this time, which meant he made it home instead of crashing at one of his friends’ or some girl’s again. He didn’t really remember much from last night, but if his head was being that much of a bitch, it must have been an awesome party. He had no idea what time it was, and he really couldn’t care less. Maybe if he slept some more, the killer headache would go away.

“You’re finally up, are you?” a voice snarled from the other side of the room and Axel’s eyes snapped open.  He moved the pillow from his head slowly, the dull pain constantly present. He looked around, finally finding the source of the loudness.

There, sitting next to his desk, was Reno, a game of solitaire open on the computer. He was wearing a loose white shirt and dark pants, these stupid goggles on top of his wild red hair as always. He didn’t look nearly as amused as Axel thought he would as he took in his little brother’s killer hungover. Then again, Reno didn’t look amused at all. There were small, dark bags under his eyes and he looked far more tired than Axel remembered.

Then again, he hadn’t seen Reno for almost two years, so his memory might have been playing tricks on him. Especially with that hangover looming over him like an execution.

“Reno? When’d you get here?” he tried to sit up, but gave up when the pain seemed to become more intense. It better have been the best goddamn party he’d ever been to.

“Hm? Oh, well, you know. You came back drunk and high off your ass around 4, and I’ve been sitting here and chilling, counting the times you threw up and almost choked on your vomit. Had a bet running with Rude too, yo.  Texted him the whole thing, took pictures as proof. He bet you’d throw up ten times, but me? Nah, I believed in you bro. You won me some nice sum, threw up only eight times” Axel rolled his eyes, already feeling irritation rising in him. It almost made the pain seem duller, though, so he didn’t mind.

“Cut the shit, when’d you get to Twilight Town?” Reno didn’t bother to reply, turning to his phone when it blinked with a new message. Axel, annoyed at the lack of response, repeated the question.

“Yesterday evening. Probably a few hours before you got back. I was shocked, yo. I mean, I was expecting you to be gone from home, but I thought you were spending the night with Roxas and Ventus. _Not_ that you were getting drunker than a pig. What the fuck, Ax?” Reno was downright glaring at him now, and while the two hadn’t seen each other for such a long time, it wasn’t normal Reno behaviour. He was a pretty laid back, easy-going guy. He didn’t get angry often, especially not at Axel. And especially not because someone went out to a party. Reno loved parties.

At the mention of Roxas, the younger redhead grit his teeth in irritation. Of _course_ Reno would assume he was with the Strife twins. It’s not like anyone expected Axel to have friends other than these two. It was annoying.

“Why the fuck would I be with that little fag? What, think I don’t have other friends than him?” along with the throb in his head, Axel felt a small pang of guilt after calling Roxas a fag out loud like that. It’s not like it really bothered him that the blond was gay, but the guys he hung out with weren’t exactly open to such a thing, and at some point, this kind of vocabulary became normal to him, too. Plus it’s not like him and Roxas were friends anymore.

He yelped in pain when something hit him on the forehead. He looked up, eyes turned to slits as he held his brother’s phone.

“What the fuck Re-“ he never got to finish as his brother suddenly appeared in front of him, yanking him up by his shirt. The world spun around for a moment, and when it stopped, Axel’s  eyes met angry blue ones.

“No, you tell me what the fuck you just said. Come on, repeat it so I can punch your fucking face, yo” Axel grit his teeth, ignoring the headache as best as he could to glare at his brother. He hadn’t seen the asshole in almost two years and he was threatening to beat him up over something he’d said about _Roxas_? It’s not like Reno had even _talked_ with Roxas more than five or six times in the past.

“What’s your deal?!”

“My deal is that you’re being an asshole, Ax. What the hell happened to you? Weren’t you and Roxas friends?” Reno seethed, finally letting go of him. The younger redhead fell onto the bed with a thud and a groan.

“Psh, yeah. We’re not anymore. I have other friends-“

“The bunch from yesterday? You callin’ ‘em friends?” again, before Axel could retort, he was interrupted, this time by the chime of Reno’s phone. He glanced at it, noticing Rude’s name and rolling his eyes. Of course his brother and Rude were still tight. Reno had probably thought that him and Roxas would have this kind of friendship too, the one that lasted forever, but what would Reno know.

In truth, Axel had once thought that what he and the older Strife twin had would last a long time, too. But then he met his current friends. They were older, and they had so much to offer. They invited him into their little circle and showed him all the good things in life. Gave him his first can of beer and his first cigarette, even directed him towards an older girl that never refused anyone’s advances so long as they had a dick they could shove into her. They were fun, they were different, and they didn’t want him hanging out with Roxas. They made it clear, them or him. And Roxas had changed, got even duller and quieter after Cloud left. He’d drift off to his own world a lot, and that one time when he landed in the hospital, he wouldn’t tell Axel what happened. And these weird reactions. Whenever Axel would sling an arm around his shoulder, he’d flinch, and for the briefest moment, there would be fear in those eyes. Axel hated that. He didn’t want to deal with it. Besides, the alcohol, and the drugs, and the girls. It all seemed so appealing. The choice was obvious.

“Yeah. Them. What’s that to you?” he asked finally, looking up at his brother again. Reno had retrieved his phone and was texting back, not once looking at Axel.

“Nothing, yo. It’s your life. Ya can make your own mistakes, little bro” Axel bit back a nasty reply, opting for a glare instead.

“The hell did you come back here for anyway? Thought you weren’t returning to this ‘shithole’ anymore?” the worlds came out more bitterly than he wanted them to, but he didn’t care. He never understood why Reno had just up and left for a college in Midgar. He knew that his older brother had never really gotten along with their parents, mostly because they disapproved of his association with Rude, and that they argued a lot before Reno finally left. There were probably more reasons that Axel wasn’t aware of, but honestly? He didn’t give a single shit. All he cared about was that his brother abandoned him, leaving him alone in a house that was almost always empty sans for him most of the year.

Reno paused in his texting, their eyes meeting for a short moment. Then the older redhead looked away, his gaze locking on the clock hanging on the wall. His eyes looked a bit unfocused, but then he seemed to snap out of whatever thoughts had plagued his mind. A sad smile appeared on his face, and it was the first time Axel noticed how tired his brother looked really looked.

“I thought you’d already know. Ya know, I assumed you and the Strife twins were still friends and they told you. Well, no matter. Your life, your choices, yo” Axel bristled, irritated that his brother kept bringing up Roxas into this conversation.

“Stop talking about them already will y-“

“Cloud’s dead” Axel felt as though something cold had just slapped him in the face. His eyes widened, staring unbelieving at his older brother “They found his body in Nibelheim. My friend’s from there and she called me to tell the news. They were friends too, a couple actually. Tifa, she went to the same college in Midgar as I did, and she knew Cloud and I were friends. She planned to come here after the burial and meet the twins. You know, introduce herself and all, yo. I told her we’d meet up here. I wanted to give my condolences to the little twerps too, anyway”

Axel’s heart was beating rapidly in his chest, the headache long since forgotten. His heart was aching, and he thought back to the previous day. Roxas had been calling him all week, asking if they could meet. Axel kept refusing, but, finally annoyed, he agreed. On his way to see the blond, he ran into his friends, and deciding that he would be hanging out with them later anyway, he said that they could tag along. When they reached the bottom of the clock tower, Roxas was already there, dressed in his usual jacket and long pants despite the awful heat. He’d been dressing like that ever since Cloud left, but never once told the redhead why. The blond looked even more miserable than Axel remembered, and now that he thought about it, he should have known that something was off.

But instead, he said the blond’s name loudly and Roxas looked up, a beginning of a smile dying right on his face when he noticed the group behind him. He kept asking, then, if he could talk with Axel alone for a minute, and one of Axel’s friends laughed loudly that the little fag wanted to confess his love. So Axel played along, acting disgusted at the idea. Pushed Roxas to the ground and called him a fag, too. Told him to kill himself. The look of hurt and betrayal, so clear in those eyes, haunted him well into the party till he got drunk enough to not remember _anything_.

That was probably what Roxas had wanted to say. He probably wanted to tell him about Cloud, maybe counted on some support and comfort. And instead of offering it, he-.

Shit. He wasn’t even supposed to care anymore, but... Fuck.

“Ah, you have that look on your face, yo. Realized ya screwed up, huh? Yeah, champ, you did” Reno patted his shoulder, a stupid grin on his face. It did nothing to warm the sudden coldness in Axel’s chest.

“Did they find the killer?” Reno’s face hardened, the grin slipping away.

“There was no killer. Everything pointed to suicide. Cloud stole Tifa’s father’s gun – the guy’s the local police’s chief – and blew his brains out in the Lockharts’ shed. Left a goodbye note to Tif and his little brothers. She’s supposed to deliver it to them”

Dread filled Axel’s being. She couldn’t do that. If she did, the twins would know that Cloud committed suicide. Something like that would definitely devastate them, and Ventus was already on anti-depressants. Roxas already looked too tired of life most of the time. What if… what if it pushed them over the edge, what if-

What if Roxas listened to him and killed himself?

“Fuck. Reno I, I gotta get to the Strifes’” he got up, forgetting how shitty he had been to Roxas for the past few weeks. Forgetting that they probably weren’t even friends anymore, and that Roxas would most likely beat the shit out of him the second he saw him. He deserved it anyway.

He got dressed quickly and brushed his teeth even quicker. Reno was hot on his heels, and soon they were making their way towards Roxas’ neighbourhood in the older redhead’s car. It wasn’t far, only a fifteen minute walk at most, but they’d still get there quicker in a vehicle. Reno didn’t question the sudden haste in his little brother’s actions, and the car ride remained mostly silent, sans for the radio humming quietly.

They wouldn’t be able to park anywhere near the Strife household no matter how hard they’d try. There were two police cars and a few cars with the news’ logo all over the place, curious and horrified on-lookers gaping at the house number 13. Roxas’ house. Dread filled Axel’s chest, and as soon as Reno stopped the car, he ran out, not listening to his brother’s yells. He pushed through the crowd, recognizing all the nasty neighbours that Roxas would often complain about, until he was at the front of the group. There, he was stopped by a burly man in a police uniform.

“Son, this place is off limits. You can’t get in here”

“Yes I fucking can, my friend fucking lives here and-“

“Watch your tongue, young man” the officer said sternly, but his features softened slightly “So you knew these kids?”

Axel’s heart broke a little and the overwhelming urge to cry washed over him suddenly. Even in his hungover state, Axel wasn’t stupid enough to miss the past tense. He also wasn’t stupid enough to listen to the man and stand there. So, with a quick movement, he ducked under the policeman’s arm and ran straight towards the front door. Another policeman tried to stop him, but he caught the handle and turned it before the man got a hold of him.

As the officer tried to pull him away, the door opened just enough for him to see. And, the second he saw, he wished he hadn’t.

The hall of Roxas’ house looked almost exactly how he had remembered it. He hadn’t been over to the twin’s place in almost two months now, but everything was almost the same. The pictures on the walls, with only Mr. and Mrs. Strife in them, with no signs of any of the kids actually living here. All the paintings that the local artist had drawn, adding nothing but pretense to the house. The stairs, pristine white, just like the walls. And the floor, always clean and spotless.

Except this time, the pristine white walls were splattered with red. The same crimson dots were all over the floor, staining it for a long time, if not for good. And on the stairs, the lovely white stairs that Mrs. Strife loved so much, were three figures. The first one, Ventus, was almost smiling if you squinted an eye. He was leaning on the railing, his eyes shut. Then there was a brunette, a beautiful woman that Axel didn’t know. Her head was leaning against the side of Ven’s head, eyes shut, and one of her hands lay limply on the boy’s stomach. And then, rather awkwardly, Roxas was lying one step under them. Ventus’ and the girl’s legs were almost like a cage, keeping him safely tucked away from the world. His face was turned to the side, and unlike the other two’s, his eyes were wide open, staring straight at Axel. Hollowly, coldly, lifelessly.

All three of them had identical holes in their foreheads, and the gun was at the bottom of the stairs. The pristine white stairs were drenched in blood.

Axel remembered hot tears spilling from his eyes, and giving in to the violent urge to throw up. Not much else, though.

xxx

The night has fallen faster than he had expected it to. They had been walking for the past twenty four hours, only making short breaks for the toilet and to eat some food. They couldn’t waste any time, and they couldn’t risk being seen. They would be given transport from Traverse Town to their destination, but they had to get to Traverse on their own. They already had help in Twilight Town with arranging the crime scene to look like a suicide. There was only so much help that could be extended to them.

Their legs were killing them, and every now and again one of their stomachs would rumble unhappily, demanding food. But they kept going, dragging their feet, one after another.

Finally the signs started appearing, first proclaiming that Traverse Town was only fifteen kilometres away, then ten, then five. Then, finally, a bright yellow ‘Welcome to Traverse Town’ appeared in front of their eyes and all of them got a new spring in their steps.

He saw the car first, dark and almost unnoticeable in the dead of night. It was turned off, as were the lights, and if it wasn’t for the moon shining on it, it would have been completely lost in the shadows. Then he noticed the two men, standing next to it and talking in hushed whispers. Their features were indistinguishable from the distance, but he knew, somehow. Both of them knew.

With a hand in his, they ran only on desperation and hope, as strength had left them hours ago. They were breathless, and so very tired, but they still ran as if their lives depended on it. The closer they got, the more they could make out of the features. And the more certain they were.

Finally, finally they reached the two men, flinging themselves on the shorter one. They were caught in his strong arms effortlessly and squeezed in a tight embrace. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t return sooner. I couldn’t. I’m so sorry” Cloud’s whispers were soft and quiet, but to them, he still sounded like he was choking back a sob.

“It’s fine” Roxas said, just as Ventus sobbed rather loudly.

“Just never leave us again” the younger twin added, nuzzling into his older brother’s strong chest.

“I won’t” Cloud whispered, and for another while, it was just the three of them, making up for the lost time with this embrace. But then another pair of arms wrapped around the brothers, even stronger than Cloud’s.

“I thought nothing could be more adorable than one Chocobo but we were blessed with three. Tifa, take a photo. Everyone will be so jealous” the twins wiggled around, trying to look at the owner of the voice. They didn’t see much, though.

Somewhere in the background, Tifa giggled, but the sudden flash was proof enough that she really did take a picture. The twins heard their brother sigh. But it wasn’t a sad, hopeless sigh. It was more exasperated, if not fond of the antics. And somehow, the twins knew everything would be alright.

Even if they had just joined a revolutionary movement.

* * *

_Dead and gone, what's done is done_  
_You were all I had become_  
_I'm letting go of what I once believed_  
_So goodbye agony_

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh, it was supposed to be every two weeks, but I decided to publish it sooner. 
> 
> I'm really in a mood to write. Must be the fact that I have a Latin exam in, like, three weeks, and I know nothing. Procrastination is an incredible muse. 
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy.

* * *

_When dreaming I'm guided to another world_   
_Time and time again_   
_At sunrise I fight to stay asleep_   
_'Cause I don't want to leave the comfort of this place_   
_'Cause there's a hunger, a longing to escape_   
_From the life I live when I'm awake_

* * *

  **6 years later**

* * *

Birthdays.

He had never really seen an appeal in them. What was there to celebrate, really? ‘You’re one year older! Hooray, one year closer to your deathbed!’.  Sure, he had enjoyed birthdays, once. He was a kid then, a pretty naïve one at that. They had lost the appeal when he didn’t have anyone to celebrate them with. And even when he had people with whom he could spend the day, he really didn’t see much point in doing so. Why should he be happy that his youth was coming to an end?

Okay, so he might have been exaggerating. He was only turning twenty one, and that was plenty young enough. He didn’t feel the least bit like an adult he was supposed to be, but it still didn’t stop kids from pointing at him and expecting him to give them a good, adult advice. They weren’t _his_ kids, but for some reason, the brats that lived next door considered him to be the best advice machine on the planet, much to their mother’s horror. She had never liked Axel much.

But honestly, he would have loved these kids’ company right now. Hell, he would have loved his parents’ company right about now, and he hadn’t seen these tools in years. Even his annoying boss would be an improvement to the current situation.

He really hated funerals. All these people dressed in black, gathering in a circle to say one last goodbye. It was some depressing shit, and it brought back very painful memories, ones he couldn’t forget no matter how hard he’d tried. Whenever he so much as looked at a casket, flashes of white and lifeless faces, blond hair and clothes that just _didn’t fit_ their style resurfaced. Even when they were buried six feet under, under a cross they didn’t believe in, these empty blue eyes still haunted most of his nightmares.

This situation, if possible, was equally horrible. Unlike _them_ , Rude was a devoted believer and the cross he’d be buried under was justified. Unlike _them_ , Rude didn’t take the cowardly way out. He didn’t have much of a choice. Not even a guy like him, muscles on muscles, could survive a track hitting him head on. Died on impact. Which was kind of scary to think about. Rude was probably the strongest person Axel had ever known, but even he was too weak to fight death. If a strong guy like him couldn’t make a miraculous recovery, then probably no one could.

He looked to his right, something uncomfortable stirring in his chest. In all his life, he’d only ever seen Reno cry once. It was ten years ago, after their grandfather died.

Unlike everything he did, Reno cried quietly. No sobs, no sniffing, just tears falling from his eyes. His lips were pressed in this really thin line, and his hands were clenched tightly, so tightly that the knuckles turned white. The look on his face was a mixture between betrayal, sorrow and anger. Like he was pissed at the world for taking away someone from him. Or maybe it was anger at himself, for not being strong enough to protect that person.  Whatever it was, Reno’s quiet mourning was more heart-breaking than the loudest cry.

Just looking at him now, tears pooling in his eyes and falling freely, made Axel’s own eyes sting.

After Roxas and Ventus’ death, something in Axel snapped. He stopped talking to his high school friends who, now that he really thought about it, weren’t really ever _real_ friends. He’d actually just stopped talking with people in general. He skipped the remaining two weeks of school and just sat at his room, thinking. At first, how it was his fault. For not noticing Roxas’ problems, for saying the words to him that might have just pushed him over the edge.

 But then guilt turned to anger. He blamed Roxas and Ventus for just taking an easy way out, making such a bad decision just because their brother had died. It was awful, yeah, and they were no doubt heartbroken, but it was no reason to kill themselves. Cloud wouldn’t have wanted them to do that, Axel was sure, even if the older blond was kind of a fuzzy memory in his mind now. Overall, it’s not like Roxas and Ventus had bad lives. Their parents were kind of stuck up assholes, but it could have been worse. They had a roof over their heads, they had food. Despite that, both of them were always so depressed, completely without a reason. Their suicide, in Axel’s mind, was a cowardly way out of some teenage angst they couldn’t cope with.

But now that he stood there, watching as four burly men lowered Rude’s coffin into the ground, he thought he understood, just a little.

Rude was like a brother to him, for many reasons. After the Strife twins died, Reno had decided to take him away from Twilight Town for a new school year. He was worried about him, he had said, and that was that. Axel transferred schools and lived with Rude and Reno in Midgar ever since. His parents, if they even noticed his absence, had never tried to get him to come back home.

It was Rude who had taken him to a therapist. Axel really didn’t want to back then, but the man pretty much threw him over his shoulder and dragged him to the nearest shrink. That was probably one of the few reasons why Axel had been able to get back to his normal self, even if just a bit. It had felt nice, to finally tell someone about the guilt, and the anger, and the fear that his words were the final push Roxas needed to end his life.

It was Rude, who forced him to sign up to gym and keep his mind occupied somehow.

It was Rude, who kept both Axel and Reno in check, making sure the two didn’t burn the house down while cooking. Or that they wouldn’t kill themselves during a morning squabble.

It was Rude, who never once walked away from them, even when Reno accidentally hit him with a lamp in the crotch or when Axel had sat on his sunglasses.

It hurt. Knowing that he’d never see Rude’s small smile, or hear his exasperated sigh. It hurt, and it probably would forever, but he wouldn’t kill himself over that. Rude wouldn’t have wanted him or Reno to hurt themselves, he was sure. He would have wanted them to live their lives fully, meet some nice girl or guy and settle down with them, if that’s what they’d want to do. He wouldn’t want them to mope. And, Axel was sure, Cloud would have wanted the same for Roxas and Ventus. If only the twins were smarter…

He shook his head, not wanting to think about it. He had managed not to think about his childhood friends for a really long time now, there was no need to destroy his efforts. Besides, now was not the time.

“We should probably get going” he said, glancing around. The ceremony has ended a few minutes ago, and everyone was leaving. The funeral was quite small, as Rude didn’t exactly have a family other than the two redheads, and his friends were few in number as well. Despite it being only September, the day was awfully cold. And the cemetery gave Axel the chills. He had never been particularly fond of them.

“Yeah. We probably should” despite his words, Reno made no move to leave his place next to Rude’s grave. Axel waited patiently, watching as his brother kneeled in front of it.

“You really did a number on me this time, yo. I really dunno how to one-up this one” Reno laughed quietly, and Axel’s heart broke a little more “The asshole that did this to you ain’t even getting ten years. He’s some governmental pet’s son-in-law or some bullshit. How am I gonna survive in this rotten system without my partner in crime? Not a cool move, yo. I’m gonna kick your ass for that”

Axel watched as another tear fell down Reno’s cheek, and he politely turned his head away. Just in time to notice a woman stopping right next to him. He blinked, looking her over. 

She appeared to be slightly older than him, but still quite young and youthful. She was smiling softly as she played with the hem of her white-and-blue sundress. Axel blinked again, wondering if she wasn’t cold, but the content look on her face said otherwise. Her brown hair was braided back, tied with a pink ribbon. Her eyes, green and kind, were staring at Reno with sympathy. Overall she was very beautiful, and Axel was sure that Rude would have had a crush on her. Perhaps she was even the fabled girlfriend he had boasted about.

 “It’s only a goodbye if we let it be” she said softly, gaining both his and Reno’s attention. The older redhead looked at her, startled, but she only smiled at him.

“Not everything is as it seems. Sometimes what seems like the end is actually a beginning of something wonderful. Something good. Our eyes, they can be fooled. They don’t understand that things we see may sometimes be an illusion. We can’t let them fool us. We can’t linger in sadness. We have to look for a way to break that illusion, and find our way to happiness. There are more willing to guide us towards it than we know” she continued, placing a single rose by Rude’s grave. Axel did a double take, sure she hadn’t had the flower just seconds ago. It was almost as creepy and weird as her words.

“Kind of hard to see my best friend’s death as something wonderful, Miss” though not entirely biting, Reno’s tone said clearly that he wasn’t feeling up to listening to her bullshit. She didn’t even flinch at the harshness of his voice, however, sending him a genuine smile.

“But not everything is as it seems, Reno. If you open your eyes, just a bit wider, you’ll see” Axel raised his eyebrows. He thought that Rude had finally found a decent girlfriend, but it seems this one was on the crazy side.

“No offense, Miss, but do we know each other? ‘Cause I don’t remember ya” Axel blinked, looking at his brother and the woman. Surely Reno had met Rude’s girlfriend, hadn’t he? Maybe he was plastered when they were introduced to each other or something. But the girl smiled again, that soft, mysterious smile of hers and shook her head.

“No. No, we have not met, Reno. But I know you, and I believe in you. Open your eyes, and we’ll guide you” she turned her face around, that smile now directed at Axel “You too, Axel. If you look closely, you’ll be surprised to discover that some of the demons you had fought were never real”

Okay, she wasn’t just crazy. She was batshit insane, probably as mentally unstable as they got. Must have escaped from the loony house down the hill. A pity that even a beautiful girl like her was fucked up. Must have been the city, Midgar had turned into one weird place over the years.

“I must go now. There are still souls in this city that need help. It’s a very sad place, I’m afraid. So many souls lost to grief. Not all of them may be saved, even fewer have the potential to see beyond the lies. But I must try, before we return” she stood up, pulling Reno into a quick hug. He looked stunned, but before he could so much as blink, she was already pulling away, the sweet smile ever-present. She approached Axel next and did the same to him, and the younger redhead felt weirdly comforted by her embrace. There was something loving, something motherly about it. But almost as soon as her arms were around him, they were gone, and she took a step back.

“We will see each other again, I am sure. You will know where to look” with that, and one last smile, she walked away, a single white lily in her hands. One that she hadn’t had before.

xxx

A whole day had passed since their encounter with the weird woman. Reno had sworn on all of his favourite magazines, beers and games that he had no idea who she was. When Axel suggested that she might have been Rude’s girlfriend, the older redhead denied it quickly. Apparently, Rude’s girlfriend was some chick named Chelsea, and both of them knew that Rude wasn’t the cheating type.

After a whole day of consternation, drinking and mourning their deceased friend, life slapped them in the faces and they both had to go to their respective jobs.

Even though Reno had a degree in economics, he had been working as a bodyguard in the mall for the past few years. It was a miracle he hadn’t been fired yet, considering the mall usually needed guarding from _him_.  Reno could be a disaster, sometimes. And now, without Rude there to look after the twenty six year old baby, everyone trembled at the mare thought of what would happen to the poor mall.

As for Axel, he _really_ hated his job. He sat in his booth, with a phone ringing almost constantly, from morning to evening. The callers – customers – always bitched, and when they didn’t bitch, they wailed about their pathetic lives. They probably thought that ‘customer service’ meant ‘my own private therapist’. Not to mention that _all_ of his co-workers were annoying assholes, who only ever thought about themselves. And his boss was the absolute _worst_. He’d use any pretext to fire someone’s ass. Axel suspected it had something to do with needing to boost his ego. Fucking asshole.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry but I cannot help you. Our firm deals with electronics, not with cheating husbands. No, I’m not trying to be disrespectful I- Ma’am, please calm down. We cannot help you, I’m sorry” he resisted the urge to call her a bitch when she’d screamed that he was an insensitive asshole. No, he waited to do that until after she had disconnected. He was a perfect gentleman, after all.

“Sinclair, the boss wants to see you” Axel groaned, looking up at his co-worker. The bastard looked very pleased with himself, if the smug smirk was anything to go by, and the redhead knew instantly that it couldn’t have been anything good. No one would be smirking like that if someone in the office got a promotion. It was the ‘you’re in so much trouble and it’s hilarious to me’ smirk, one so common in this fucking office that it wasn’t even funny.

“Yeah, be there in a minute” his co-worker shrugged, already walking back to his booth. Axel looked at the phone, which was ringing again, but decided it’d probably be better to go see Asshole Almighty sooner rather than later. If he was getting fired, there was no point in talking to another desperate housewife.

When he reached his boss’ office, he knocked strictly out of habit. It had absolutely nothing to do with respect. That was more than that man would ever deserve.

“Come in” came the gruff reply from the inside, and Axel lazily did just that.

The man was, as always, sitting on a chair that looked like ten of Axel’s salaries.  Maybe eleven. He was breaking his own rule of not smoking in the company, an unlit cigarette between his lips. He was also zipping up his pants, and Axel really didn’t want to know what or _who_ the man had just done in here.

“Heard you wanted to see me, Boss” the man never said a word that he could sit down, but Axel did anyway. Clearly much to the displeasure of Asshole Almighty.

“Sinclair, do you know why I called you in here?” he drawled out his vowels, like he was a taunting elementary school bully or something of the sort. Axel was pretty sure that’s exactly what he was as a kid. He was searching his pockets for something, probably a lighter to light the cigarette.

“Nope, sir, can’t say I do” Asshole Almighty finally found the lighter, looking victorious. What a pompous moron.

“Of course not. You never know _anything_ , Sinclair. Honestly, you’re the biggest imbecile in the firm. We don’t need uneducated idiots in this firm, so fortunately for everyone working here, you’re fired as of today” Axel’s eyes flared with anger. Not because he just got fired, no. It was actually worth a celebration. But he hated having his intelligence questioned. Just because he never attended an university, these goddamn assholes with a college diploma thought they had the _right_ to wipe the floor with him. Like they were _better_ , somehow.

And then the strangest thing happened. His (ex-)boss’s lighter exploded with flames just as the man tried to light his cigarette. Axel could only watch with wide eyes as the man screamed in pain. It was a one-time flame burst, and nothing really caught on fire, but it would definitely leave a burn.

Before he could stop himself, Axel laughed. There was just something so unbearably pleasant about watching the man writhe in pain, pouring mineral water on his face to soothe the burning sensation. It was like the universe finally did something fair, served the asshole what he deserved. And it was probably bad, being so happy that someone got hurt, but honestly? Axel didn’t give a single damn about that perverted, megalomaniac asshole.

“Might want to listen to your own rules sometimes and not smoke in the building, _asshole._ So good to not work for you anymore. Ah, freedom” Axel continued laughing as he exited the office, drawing weird glances from his (ex-, and oh how good it felt to say that) co-workers.

On his way back home, the images of an exploding lighter filled his mind. It was so weird. He didn’t know that lighters even could do that, let alone expensive ones like Almighty Asshole’s. Because there was no way his lighter was the same as Axel’s. Axel’s was cheaper than a bag of chips and easily replaceable. Somehow, he doubted that the silver beauty his ex-boss owned was of the same value.

The redhead took out his own lighter, flicking it on and off again. It was obviously making the people around him uncomfortable, but he didn’t care. How could such a small thing make so much damage?

“Everything and everyone has potential to be dangerous. Even the smallest spark can cause a fire that will consume an entire forest” Axel’s head shot up, looking for the source of the voice. He didn’t have to look far.

The person, whoever they were, was wearing a lot of black. Now, there wasn’t anything wrong with wearing a lot of black. Personally, Axel preferred that particular colour as well. But the figure in front of him was taking it to a whole new level. Black combat boots, black pants, black gloves, probably a black shirt. It was hard to tell, what with that awful, black coat, zipped up to the person’s chin. The person had the coat’s hoodie on, making their face pretty much indistinguishable.

No one except for Axel seemed to be paying any attention to the mysterious person. Actually, now that the redhead looked around, people seemed to stop paying attention to him as well.  

“What?” he asked rather intelligently, but the figure in front of him didn’t seem amused.

“You must control your anger better. Or next time, you might hurt someone who does not deserve it” after hearing these words, Axel was instantly reminded of the girl from yesterday. She was sprouting some really weird riddles, too.

“Okay, I have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about dude” he took a step back, just in case the psycho took out a knife or something. Sadly, it wouldn’t be the first time something like that happened. Living in Midgar, you had to be prepared for bad guys lurking everywhere.

“It is impressive” the person continued, as if they hadn’t heard Axel at all “You have witnessed it with your own eyes, and yet you understand nothing” the redhead twitched, feeling irritation bubble in his chest. That was a second asshole questioning his intelligence today.

“I understand plenty enough, jackass. You better scram before I shove my boot so far up your ass that you’ll go running back to your mommy” his eyes flashed with anger, right hand tingling with an unfamiliar warmth.

“No. You are blind to everything happening around you. You do not understand anything at all”

“Oh, I’ve had it with you” Axel moved towards the person, ready to strike. He took a swing, and felt his heart stop the second it connected with surface.

The redhead’s fist did hit something, but it was neither the person’s face or anything solid. His hand hit something, and bounced right off of it, but it couldn’t have been anything else than air. Which couldn’t have been the truth, because air isn’t exactly something solid, something that is able to block a punch.

Axel had no time to be surprised by the fact that the punch did not connect with the person’s jaw, though, because something else had his full attention.

His hand was on _fire_.

It was burning brightly, all red and orange and yellow, engulfing his fist in flames. He stared at it with wide eyes for a second, but then his brain caught up with the situation.

“Holy fucking shit! Fuck! Where’s some fucking water, shit!” he looked around, desperately trying to gain other people’s attention, but they all passed him by, as if he didn’t exist. Any irritation he might have felt had been outweighed by the burning sensation that…. There actually wasn’t any burning sensation at all.

His heart still racing, he looked at his – still burning – fist with astonishment. It wasn’t hot. Hell, it wasn’t even mildly warm. The sensation was actually quite pleasant, the flames doing nothing but tickling his skin.

“What the fu-“ he didn’t get to finish when a sudden force pushed him away. He tripped, landing on his ass and staring with bewilderment at the hooded figure in front of him. He didn’t notice, but the flame on his arm was getting smaller and smaller, until it disappeared completely.

“You are quick to anger” the person finally removed their hood. 

The man – or at least Axel thought it was a man – had one of the weirdest hairstyles he’d ever seen. And the redhead looked in the mirror every day. The man’s hair was a really questionable colour. Something like dull blue, but different. Grey didn’t really express it either. Slate, maybe? And he really rocked that emo look. All the black clothing aside, the guy was really pale and his ridiculous fringe covered one of his eyes, leaving only one glaring at Axel as though he was the biggest scum on Earth.

“But I can see why they have taken an interest in you and your brother. Fire. How very, very curious. Vincent must be pleased”

And then the guy was walking away, as if he hadn’t just said some of the weirdest shit Axel had ever heard. Before the redhead returned to his senses, the mysterious boy was already gone, blended in somewhere with the busy citizens of Midgar.

As Axel made his way home, he wondered if he should call up his old shrink. Exploding lighters, hitting air as if it was something _solid_ , his hand catching on fire but yet not burning him, a weird girl who pulled flowers out of thin air, a weird _guy_ who sprouted some serious bullshit about some Vincent person.

Yeah, he should call up his old therapist.  

xxx

It had been a week since Rude’s death. Four days since the funeral. Three since he got fired. One since his meeting with his old therapist – who said it must have been all the nerves and stress from losing someone so dear that had caused him to hallucinate. Two hours since he’d returned from yet another job interview, which didn’t exactly look very promising. Oh, well. He’d just have to keep looking.

He was about to turn on the computer and start job hunting when the door to the flat burst open, a panicked Reno running in.

“Axel! Holy shit, it’s good that you’re here! We have to pack our stuff and get our assess out of here as soon as possible, yo!” with that said, he opened the wardrobe and pulled out a suitcase from the top shelf. Axel blinked, watching as he started throwing in clothes and other things randomly. His shoulders were tense, his eyes wide open and darting to the door every now and again.

“What the hell? Why?” Reno, still throwing things into the suitcase chaotically, didn’t even grace him with a glance.

“I’ll tell you later! Move your ass and pack whatever, we have to get the fuck out of here” Axel hated being bossed around, but by Reno’s body language he could tell that his brother was being serious, for once. So he got up and reached for another suitcase, filling it with most important belongings. Some clothes, some pictures, money. Necessities. If they were on the run, they couldn’t take everything. Obviously, Reno didn’t get the memo. That, or he really loved that purple elephant figurine they found near a trashcan.

With a loud bang, the door to their flat burst open once more. Both Reno and Axel looked up, shoulders tense. Three figures entered, two of whom the younger redhead recognized immediately.

“Leon! That was very rude of you! We shouldn’t damage property like that, it’s not right!” the brunette girl back from the cemetery whined, poking a tall man with a scar on his face with her finger. If her jab hurt even a little, the man didn’t let it show, his expression pulled into one of neutral disinterest. But Axel honestly didn’t care about his expression, not when he was carrying a weird-ass _sword_.

“Whatever” the man scoffed, his eyes fixed on the two redheads in front of him.

“Oh, don’t you ‘whatever’ me, mister! Really, you are supposed to be a good example for the young ones! If they learn from you, they’ll all grow up to be big meanies! Just look at Vanitas!” she stomped her foot childishly, not noticing that Axel and Reno were staring at them with bewildered expressions.

“He _is_ rather condescending” the shorter guy, the one with the weird slate hair agreed, looking around the flat.

“Exactly! And who trained him? Hm? Let’s hear it, Leon. Who trained him? That’s right, mister, _you_!” while the girl was busy poking the man in the chest, Axel inched just a bit closer to his brother.

“Are we running from these psychos? Because I think we don’t have a chance if that guy touches us with that fucking sword” Reno shook his head, but his wide blue eyes were on the sword, too.

“Nah, I accidentally pissed of a gang. Burnt down all of their bikes. I just touched one, and boom! It was all burning, yo. I lost ‘em somewhere in sector 5, but I’m pretty sure they’ll find us”

“What the fuck, what do you mean you burnt down their bikes?”

“I don’t know, okay! I just touched it and it exploded, yo! Lit up the whole plaza like fireworks” Axel stared at his brother with disbelief, his mouth hanging open. Before he could yell at Reno for being an idiot, the scarred man extended his sword towards them, the shiny and sharp weapon successfully silencing whatever Axel had wanted to say.

“Leon! Put down the sword this instant!” the man ignored the yell, his grey eyes glaring at the redheads.

“I hate fire users” he muttered, and then, louder, said “Do you wish to join AVALANCHE?”

Both redheads blinked slowly. They knew the question was directed at them, but they had no idea what was being asked. Axel suspected that AVALANCHE was the hospital for psychos that all of them ran away from. It was plausible.

“It’s not like they have a choice now, either way. Aerith opened the first gate. Their gifts had been awakened, and they have to learn control. Whether they want to go or not, we’re taking them with us”

“Okay, what the fuck are you talking about?” Reno finally stood up from where he was kneeling next to the suitcase, his back straightening. His eyes narrowed, challenging the scarred man to attack him. He was nimble and fast, he could manoeuvre around him. Probably.

Axel followed suit, and found comfort in realizing that both of them were taller than anyone in the psycho brigade.

“Leon, I said put the sword down. Zexion, stop antagonizing them” the woman frowned, before turning to the two redheads, an apologetic smile on her face “I am so sorry about them. We really mean no harm. These boys are just not very tactful at times” she sent the two behind her a sharp glare, but they both scoffed as soon as her eyes were back on the redheads.

“My name is Aerith. The grouch with the sword is Leon, and that’s Zexion. We are from a group called AVALANCHE. We’re an underground society, and we are trying to right what the government has wronged. There is evil in this country, so much evil and sadness. People are forced into worse and worse conditions every day. The average life-span has shortened thanks to the medication being so expensive, and the crime rate hasn’t been this high in over four hundred years. The system is very unjust and we, AVALANCHE, want to change it. We want to make it better. Would you like to help us?”

“It’s not like they have a choice” Zexion muttered from behind them, but a glare from her stopped any further comments.

Axel looked at Reno, who looked just as bewildered as he felt.

“Uh… so, what. You’re, like, terrorists or something?” the older redhead asked, still eyeing the sword mistrustfully.

“Goddess, no! No, no. The government has an army moving in the shadows. This army, it brings terror and death. We are trying to stop it. They have succumbed to the darkness, and my heart cries for their lost souls. But we can still save many others. We have many skilled, kind-hearted warriors in our ranks. And we would like you to join us. We could help you see. You already begun noticing things. You have already embraced your inner gifts. We could help you control them, help you understand the mysterious”

“Miss. I’m sorry to say this, but I’m not really buying this bullshit. ‘Scuse the language, yo” Axel felt like smacking his brother when he saw the scarred man’s glare intensify. They were _dead meat_. Either join the happy psycho group or get cut up by that dude’s sword. Great.

But, to their surprise, the girl giggled.

“I understand. It is alright, I am aware how absurd all of this must sound. I can still remember when _I_ was recruited. I could always hear the souls crying, but I had never known that it was a special, cherished gift the Goddess had given me. Then one day, a very charming lad-“ the Leon guy scoffed at the words, muttering something about ‘Zack being as charming as a slug’ “-showed up and asked me to join AVALANCHE. I was only fifteen, and he was only two years my senior, so understand that I was even more mistrustful than you are being right now. But I chose to trust him, and discovered that what he had told me had been nothing but the truth. I have been with AVALANCHE ever since”

She smiled, but when she noticed the blank looks they were both giving her, a different expression appeared on her face. Still kind, but more… stubborn. Like she was determined to show them that she wasn’t lying.

And show them she did.

She extended her left arm towards them, muttering something under her breath. They watched as a few green sparkles appeared around her hand, and then, two white flowers materialized in her fist. Axel bit his lip to stop a very unmanly shriek from escaping his mouth.

“The Goddess has given me three gifts. First, to hear the troubled souls calling for help. Second, to help awaken other people’s powers. And third, a deep connection with nature. Leon can call kindred spirits to aid him in a fight. Zexion is a master of illusions. He can create the most wonderful ones, and sees through the best ones. He is also rather skilled with barriers. There are many more of us. We all bear a gift, some more than one. You do, too. Surely you noticed, but fire is very fond of you” her eyes sparkled, and Reno and Axel exchanged glances. They had never learnt how to respond to something like that. Something this _crazy_.

“We do not have time. The gang members whose vehicles you have burnt will be here soon. They will kill you. That is why we are giving you a choice” Zexion spoke, calm gaze on both of them.

“You may either die from their hands, or from ours”

“But unlike them, we offer you a new life” the scarred man added, and Aerith nodded encouragingly. The two redheads looked at each other.

That really wasn’t much of a choice, was it?

xxx

Their old flat burnt to ashes. The police had found their corpses, charred and almost unrecognizable. There were terrified on-lookers everywhere, police cars and fire brigades and people from the news. The gang members – who really did find the brothers’ flat – seemed very pleased to realize that the menace that destroyed their bikes was dead.

Reno and Axel stared at the scene with bewilderment. They saw themselves burning, they heard themselves screaming in terror, while very obviously it wasn’t them at all. Zexion said a few simple words and then this scene from hell was happening. The fire wasn’t real. Neither were the corpses, or the police officers, or anyone other than the gang members and other occupants of the building for that matter.

He made it so easy to fake death.

“I hate watching that” Aerith admitted softly, looking out of the window of the car they were all crammed into. “The illusionists always make it look so very real. Sometimes I wonder if the people in our ranks will really suffer such terrible deaths someday” she trailed off, and Axel decided to ask something that’s been nagging him since they got into the car.

“Won’t the illusion disappear if the illusionist is no longer here, though?”

It was the first time Zexion’s expression turned from a neutral disinterest to an almost amused superiority, a small smirk gracing his features.

“If the illusionist is an amateur, yes. But I am from the Wise family” he said, and Axel fought back an urge to roll his eyes.

‘Right, because that explains _everything’_ the redhead thought, annoyed.

“Some ‘accidents’ are real, though. A lot of people in our ranks have been saved from very… difficult situations. Sometimes, we destroy things and places as a quiet revenge against those that had hurt those souls. It might sound petty, but it brings a lot of satisfaction” Aerith smiled again, and Reno laughed loudly. Even Axel allowed himself a small grin, though he was still very unsure about this whole AVALANCHE business. He still wasn’t convinced all of this wasn’t just some crazy dream.

“So how’d you all ‘die’?” Reno asked, seemingly completely at ease with everything now. Axel really didn’t understand how his brother could just be so chill about the whole situation all of a sudden. The second Zexion created his illusion, Reno’s attention and trust was bought.

“I drowned” Aerith mumbled quietly “I must admit that I am not very fond of water bodies because of that”

“I was born in AVALANCHE. My great-grandfather created it. As far as the government is concerned, I have never existed” Zexion shrugged, taking out a book from the car’s compartment.

“And Leon and his family died during a gang battle” Aerith added when Leon made no attempt to answer the question. Axel stared at the back of the scarred-man’s head in horror. He was in a car with _a gang member_.

“So what kinda difficult situations did you mean? Do you go around saving people who accidentally piss off gangsters? No offense, dude” Leon scoffed, not even sparing Reno a glance. Zexion was already too absorbed in his book to care, so the duty of replying fell on Aerith’s shoulders again.

“Oh, well, not really. There are a lot of… victims. Yes. A lot of victims. Of the unjust system, but not only that. We help these in poverty. We help the sick. The abused. The raped. The abandoned. The lost. The lonely. The hopeless. I was an orphan. AVALANCHE gave me a loving family. Leon and his family were on the government’s blacklist. They were to be assassinated for speaking against the President. Some joined us to… to prove something. Others looked for shelter. We do thorough background checks first, but if someone is in need, it is our duty to provide it. We are a very diverse family” she giggled, seemingly pleased about it.

“So why us, then?” Axel asked. She looked at him, before placing her left hand on his chest. Above his heart.

“Your soul, it was crying. You cannot forgive yourself. You want to be angry, yet you feel guilty. Your anger grows stronger because of the guilt. The monsters of your past never left, but after this tragedy they became bigger again. Your soul, it is very tired. It cried for help, for a shield from these monsters. We… we will offer you that shield, but you need to battle your monsters first. We will be all there to help you, Axel. Even these… monsters of yours” she said cryptically, and Axel decided that saying ‘what the fuck’ wouldn’t be a very eloquent answer.

“I reckon that Thirteen wouldn’t appreciate being called a monster” Zexion said dully from his place in the front, although Axel was pretty sure a ghost of a smirk appeared on his face. Huh. Twice in a single car ride.

“Oh, don’t be smart with me, Mister!” Aerith scolded, before turning towards Reno

“Your soul was sad, too. But not as much as your brother’s. There are two reasons why you had to go with us, though. If we had taken him away from you, your soul would have wept as loudly as his does now. Besides…” her eyes twinkled with merriment “There is someone, within our ranks, who was horribly worried about your well-being. ‘He will accidentally kill his boss’, he said”

The meaning of the conversation was lost on Axel, but something shifted in Reno’s eyes. Confusion, understanding, disbelief, hope, joy.

“I’m gonna kick his ass” Reno laughed loudly, obviously annoying both Leon and Zexion.

Axel didn’t understand his brother’s sudden delight until a few hours later, when they reached the outskirts of Hollow Bastion and got out of the car. Leon led them to a small, seemingly-abandoned house, unlocking the door with his key.

Rude, who was sitting on a sofa and talking to a petite blonde girl, would have never been able to block Reno’s punch before it connected with his jaw. Even if he tried.

* * *

_So let's go there_   
_Let's make our escape_   
_Come on, let's go there_   
_Let's ask can we stay?_

* * *

 


	3. Chapter 3

_Light it up, light it up, now I'm burning_   
_Feel the rush, feel the rush of adrenaline_   
_We are young, we are strong, we will rise_   
_Cause I'm back, back, back from the dead tonight_

* * *

 

Axel had been staring at Rude for the past five minutes, not really believing that the bald man in front of him wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. He was aware that his friend wasn’t comfortable with being stared at like that, but he couldn’t help it. It wasn’t every day that someone that was supposedly dead just came back to life. Axel was still convinced that he would wake up any second now, in his and Reno’s flat or maybe in some bar, and realize that all of this was nothing but a dream. A pretty fucked up one, but a dream nonetheless.

“So this is your base? ‘Cause if it is then it’s pretty fucking small, yo” Axel glanced from Rude to Reno, and then from Reno to Aerith. It was the brunette that had answered most of their questions so far, and he wasn’t expecting anything different this time either. That’s why he was a bit surprised when the shy, blonde girl whose name he didn’t yet learn spoke instead. 

“No. It is merely a connection. This house is a Link between our world and your world. We use it when we go recruiting or looking for information. There are six more Links like that, though not all of them are created to look like a house. There is an old shop in Traverse Town. A destroyed bar in Winhill. A ship in Palumpolum. A cave near Mt. Gagazet. The ruined castle in Wutai. And an abandoned orphanage in Rabanastre. All of these locations are heavily protected by magic, making them appear like nothing but ruins to normal people and to the Dark Army. Though even if one of these bases was ever discovered, there are guardians waiting on the other side of the Link. They make sure that whoever leaves and enters Radiant Garden is a friend, not a foe”

“Radiant Garden?” Axel asked, staring at the girl intently. She looked at him briefly, before nodding her head and turning her eyes towards an empty shelf on her right.

“Yes. Radiant Garden. That is what our home is called. Or ‘base’ if you prefer. It is a lovely city, just like Hollow Bastion had once been. It is divided into two parts. The first part is inhabited by civilians, who either do not want to fight the Dark Army or simply do not feel strong enough. They live in sectors from One to Four and from Six to Nine. The second part belongs to us, Soldiers. We live and train in sector Ten. We are all assigned flats. They are big enough for two people so couples and friends move in together quite often, though. There are special buildings for families, with flats that could house up to seven people. Sector Five is an entertainment and educational area. There are shops, a theatre and schools for kids and teenagers alike. It is even possible to pursue higher education if someone so desires” just like Aerith, the blonde girl seemed to be very proud of where she had come from. And after listening to her, Axel wasn’t even wondering why. It seemed like AVALACHE had built quite an underground society.

“So if we don’t wanna fight, we can just go to this area for civilians and live there and do nothing?” Aerith giggled at Reno’s question and shook her head, taking over the role of a storyteller from the blonde.

“No, it does not quite work like that. Everyone who joins AVALANCHE must complete a special training that will help them control their inner talent and teach them the basics of self-defence. It all depends on a person, but it usually lasts a month. Afterwards they are free to choose whether they want to pursue the career of a Soldier and undergo further training or not. If not, then they move to the civilian territory and are assigned a job. It usually has something to do with their gift, though it all depends on the person. For example, Leon’s mother owns a bar. It’s the best bar in Radiant Garden”

“It’s the _only_ bar in Radiant Garden, Aerith” Leon shook his head, before standing up from the sofa and approaching Zexion “It’s time for us to move. Ansem expects a report from us and I want to get back to training as soon as possible”

“I agree. I have an important matter to discuss with Grandfather as well. Naminé, come” Zexion motioned for the blonde, and she quickly moved to stand beside him. She held out her hand and put it against the empty shelf, the slate-haired man following her example. They glanced at each other briefly before turning their attention to what was in front of them. Their mouths started to move, and as words left their lips, the wall began to change.  

Axel watched, fascinated, as the empty shelf started morphing into a bright white mass of nothingness. At first it didn’t remind the redhead of anything, but as the light spread across the cracked wall, he noticed the contours of a shape forming. A door.

“The Passage. It will take us straight to the Fields of Carbuncle. They are a border between Sector Nine and Sector Ten. From there, it will take no more than five minutes to reach the Barracks, where you, your brother and Rude will be living for the duration of your training” Aerith smiled kindly and held out her hand to Axel. He stared at it, bewildered, before hesitantly taking it.

“I am going first, then” Axel watched with wide eyes as the slate-haired man calmly walked towards the bright shape, before disappearing in it completely. He unconsciously squeezed Aerith’s hand a bit tighter, something he would probably be embarrassed about later. But the brunette didn’t seem to mind. She simply led him towards the door, the same kind smile on her face. He braced himself for an impact as they neared the shape.

But it never came.

One moment he was in the run-down house in Hollow Bastion, and not even a second later he was gazing at endless fields of green. He blinked, taking in his surroundings. There was a _sky_ above him, crystal clear and beautiful, which didn’t make sense because wasn’t AVALANCHE an _underground_ society? He heard birds singing somewhere above, and grasshoppers chirping in the grass underneath his feet. Aerith gently pulled him towards Zexion and a blue-haired woman, and he managed to look back just in time to see the blonde girl walking through the portal with a calm Rude in tow. The bald man’s demeanour didn’t change, and Axel had to remind himself that Rude had been living here for the past week already.  

Just as they approached Zexion and the blue-haired woman, a confused yell and an annoyed sigh could be heard from where the portal was standing. Axel looked at his brother, who was sprawled on the grass looking like a complete idiot, and then at Leon. The man looked beyond irritated, and Axel assumed that Reno must have been acting difficult. Like always.

“Leon! I told you to be _gentle_! Did you push poor boy in here?” Aerith glared at the scarred-man, letting go of Axel’s hand in order to help up his older brother. Leon merely shrugged, moving past the brunette towards Zexion.

“Welcome back everyone. I’m glad you made it back safely. Don’t worry about the Passage, I’ll close it” the blue-haired woman said kindly before extending her hand. Suddenly, a rather weirdly-shaped sword appeared in it, and she pointed it towards the door.

“Lmuca” she whispered, and Axel watched with wide eyes as a stream of light shot from the sword’s tip. It connected with the door, which slowly became hazy before disappearing completely.

“Holy shit” Axel mumbled, watching as the woman let go of her weapon. Instead of falling to the ground, it disappeared into thin air, just like the door had seconds ago.

“More like holy _fuck_. That was some badass trick, lady. I’m not easy to impress, but this? This was fucking awesome, yo” Reno grinned at the blue-haired woman, and her cheeks pinked a little. “Oh, I’m Reno by the way. And this lame guy next to me is my brother, Axel” Axel scowled at the older redhead, only to be ignored.

“My name is Aqua. It’s nice to meet you Reno, Axel. Welcome to AVALANCHE. I am sure we will meet again soon, but for now, you should go. I’m sure you are both tired. Besides, Grandfather is waiting for the report” she directed the last words towards Zexion, who nodded.

“Yes, I have something of importance to discuss with him as well. We will leave you to your job then, Aqua” with that, he motioned for the group to follow him as he headed north. Leon quickly joined him and the two started talking quietly between themselves. Reno and Rude fell back a little, already engrossed in a conversation of their own. Axel glanced at the two girls on his left. Naminé was quiet as she made her way through the grass, unlike Aerith, who was giggling happily as she made flowers bloom all around them. As he stared at all of these people, the redhead couldn’t help but think how weird they were. Not only them, but this whole thing.

It felt so surreal. One day he was just living in a small apartment with his brother and his brother’s best friend, working a boring job he hated and watching stupid TV shows in his free time. Then suddenly his brother’s best friend was dead and weird things started happening. And now, now Axel was in a completely different world, surrounded by a bunch of suspicious strangers, where magic was real and weapons materialized from nothing at all, where Rude was alive and where there was more greenery than he had ever seen in Midgar and Twilight Town combined.

It was so bizarre, and if his pinches didn’t hurt quite as much as they did, he would have kept believing that all of this was just an absurd dream. Then again, he wasn’t exactly creative enough to think all of this up.

“This is where we part. Naminé, you will escort these three to their rooms and explain what they are to expect. Aerith, Leon and I will report back to Grandfather” Axel snapped out from his musings, turning his attention to the slate-haired man. And then he blinked slowly, taking in what was behind Zexion.

A beautiful building made entirely out of glass, surrounded by trees and bushes of various sizes and colours. Some of the windows were darker than the others, making it impossible to look past their dark reflections. Axel assumed that they led to either rooms or toilets, or perhaps both. The building itself wasn’t particularly tall, it couldn’t have been more than five stories high. But it was long, and that was probably why it seemed bigger than it most likely was in reality.

“Axel, um, could you please follow me?” the redhead’s attention snapped back from the building towards Naminé, who had looked rather distressed. She tugged a loose strand of hair behind her ear nervously, looking at him with wide blue eyes. It took Axel a second to realize that Aerith and the other two had already left their group, most likely going to report to that ‘Grandfather’ person.

“Yeah, sorry. Wasn’t expecting this kind of building here” he motioned to the Glass Masterpiece with his head, and as she followed his gaze, a small smile spread across her face.

“Ah. This is where we are going, actually. The Barracks” Axel looked at her with raised eyebrows. He had assumed these were the apartments that the Soldiers lived in, not the trainees. He thought that these ‘Barracks’ would be made from old wood, cold as two freezing hells and probably housing twice as many cockroaches as they did people. He certainly wasn’t expecting _this_ , though. Not that he was complaining.

“Before we go there, though, I have a few important things to relay to you and Reno. Rude had already been given this explanation, so you may leave first if you’d like” the bald man only shook his head, motioning towards Reno. In turn, Naminé nodded her head with a small smile and turned to face the two redheads again. Secretly, Axel couldn’t help but think how creepy it was that the blonde and Rude already understood each other this well without words.

“As you know, you will be assigned rooms. You will be sharing with two other people, so please try to get along with them. The cafeteria is open at all hours from 5 AM to 11 PM so it’s fine to go there as many times as you’d like during these hours. The meals are free. There are four bathrooms per floor. All sports equipment is in the building across the Barracks. There’s also a library located there, it’s on the top floor. The building is called the Training Hall and you will be taken there tomorrow by your mentors. Both of you will be assigned a mentor that will help you control your gift. They will explain everything to you and arrange a schedule that will fit both of you. Afterwards, your mentor will take you to the Fields of Bahamut which are just north of here. There, two or more Soldiers will train you in combat and self-defence. These classes are group ones, and everyone recruited within the past two weeks will be attending them, not just the two of you. You are very lucky, because you arrived just in time to join the new group, which begins lessons tomorrow. You will finish your trainee course when both your mentor and the Soldiers training you in combat decide that you have learnt enough to not pose any threat to yourselves and others. I think this is the most vital information, but if you have any question, please go ahead and ask” Naminé tugged at her white dress nervously, looking at them with eyes that clearly begged not to ask any questions. Reno wouldn’t have been himself if he hadn’t asked, though.

“Do I get to bunk with Rude?” before the blonde could even open her mouth, Rude was already shaking his head.

“No. I have two roommates already, Reno”

“Man, that sucks. Oh well. Maybe I’ll be with ya, Ax” the younger redhead groaned at the mere thought.

Naminé, seemingly taking their banter as no more questions, quietly asked them to follow her.

As they made their way inside the Barracks, Axel noticed a few people standing around. They all glanced at their group with interest, and some even waved. Naminé politely waved back before returning to showing them around the building. The cafeteria was on the ground floor, right next to an elevator. Rude’s room, 614, was on the second floor. That’s where the two redheads parted with their friend, who apparently had an appointment with his mentor that he needed to get ready for. Reno’s room, 620, also turned out to be on the second floor. Axel watched as his brother happily disappeared in the room, already introducing himself loudly to whoever was inside.

“And this is your room. Your mentor will pick you up tomorrow at 8 in the morning, so it would be best to eat beforehand. If something happens, Rude knows where to seek me and other Soldiers. If you can’t get in touch with him, though, please go to the Training Hall. There is always someone there, and I’m sure they will be able to help you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to return to my duties”

Axel watched her leave before turning to the door in front of him. 627. It was an awkward number, but probably not as awkward as him gaping at the handle. He wasn’t really nervous, it wasn’t in his nature to be nervous about things. No, he was more distrustful than anything. Whoever was on the other side of this door, they were strangers. And Axel had never particularly liked strangers, unless he got in a fight with them and kicked their assess or slept with them after one too many on both sides.

Feeling like an idiot, he opened the door with one harsh push. Instantly two pairs of eyes were on him. Not for long, though. A floating bubble of water burst and soaked the wooden floor, forcing one of the guys’ attention away from Axel.

“Ah! No! I was doing so well!” came a rather whiny voice as the guy with dirty blond mullet threw a whole pile of paper on the soaking floor. The other man, who much to Axel’s bewilderment had long pink hair, chuckled. And that chuckle, so very deep, somehow didn’t seem to fit his rather beautiful face. The guy completely threw Axel off, and they hadn’t even spoken yet.

“Patience is the key to success”

“You only say that ‘cause you already handle your gift so well! And you’ve been here shorter than I have! Geez, I’m never going to leave this facility” the whiny one wiped the floor diligently before turning his attention to Axel again. The redhead was still standing in the door, staring at the scene with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh! Hey, new face! Are you rooming with us?” at Axel’s nod, the blond’s face brightened with a grin “Cool! I’m Demyx and that’s Marluxia. I’ve been here for a week already. Marly got here four days ago. So what’s your gift? Mine’s water, which isn’t really that surprising. I was born on the sea, yeah? My Ma was a sailor. Cursed like one, too. Marly here is really into the whole flowers thing. I think it’s because he has a crush on Aerith. That’s his mentor. He’s got a training with her scheduled for tonight and he’s been gushing about it for the past hour. My mentor’s pretty cool, too. She’s guarding the Passage today, though, so there’s no session for me. But she told me to train, which is why there was this blob of water flying around and-“

“Dem, breath. Besides, you’re weirding the guy out” Demyx blinked, taking in Axel’s amused face. He had the decency to grin sheepishly.

“Forgive him. The poor fool really likes to talk” Marluxia motioned to the only empty bed, and Axel took it as his cue to finally close the door and make himself comfortable.

“Nah, he’s fine. My brother’s similar, so I’m used to it”

“Oh! You have a brother?” Axel laughed at the blond’s enthusiasm. So far, his roommates didn’t really seem all that bad. Maybe this whole AVALANCHE business would prove to be an interesting experience after all.

xxx

Pounding.

Someone had been pounding on the door for the past two minutes, and Axel found it more and more difficult to stay asleep. He could faintly make out Demyx’s peaceful snoring and Marluxia’s groans of displeasure at being disturbed. Neither of his two roommates made any effort to greet the rude intruder, though. When Axel’s left eye finally opened, albeit reluctantly, he realized that the duty of yelling at the person on the other side of the door fell on his shoulders.

He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes and slowly made his way towards the noise. Whoever was on the other side must have heard the footsteps, because the pounding had finally stopped. Axel pondered briefly whether that meant he could go back to sleep, but decided to open the door anyway. Just in case.

Black and red.

That’s really the only description that fit the person standing in front of him. The man had long, black hair and crimson eyes. Most of his clothing was black, except for the red cape and bandanna that he wore on his forehead. He looked less than thrilled to be alive and standing in front of Axel, which made the redhead wonder what this stranger even wanted from him at such an ungodly hour. It was only when he heard a whine that he realized Reno had been standing behind the guy this whole time, donned in nothing but plain grey pyjamas, much like the ones that Axel was wearing as well.

“Sinclair. Get moving. We are beginning your training” the man ordered, his eyes narrowed in a glare. Axel didn’t even have the time to look back at the small clock hanging on the wall behind him to check the hour before he was pulled out of the room, the door closing with a quiet slam.

“What the fuck? Who are you?” Axel tried to pull out his arm from the man’s tight grip, but it proved to be unsuccessful. The guy was _strong_.  

“Vincent Valentine. I am your mentor” the man sent him a glare that clearly commanded not to talk anymore. Axel heard Reno scoff and turned to him, noting that his brother had been unusually quiet. It was only when he looked at his hands that he realized _why_. Two, bright fiery circles were clasped on Reno’s wrists, reminding the younger redhead of handcuffs. Reno followed his gaze and scoffed again.

“The bastard over here told me that if I didn’t shut up he’ll make sure the fire burns me, yo. I’m not in the mood for that at 5 fucking AM”

“Then you better keep quiet” came the silent reply. The brothers shared a look before following after the man. Vincent led them towards the building opposite the Barracks. The Training Hall. It was too dark to really say anything about the building other than the fact that it was _huge_. As they entered, the lights flickered on by themselves, allowing Axel to look around the corridor.

There wasn’t really much to say. Everything was pristine white in colour, even the glass doors with numbers written on them. They kept passing them, though, until they reached the stairs and were led to the levels below. Even the dungeons – if they could be called that – were kept in light colours.

Vincent stopped next to the door proudly dubbed F781 BG. He put his hand against the surface, and the glass turned red instantly before dissolving into nothing. He motioned for the brothers to enter. Neither of them looked forward to being stuck with a strange guy somewhere in the basement at such an ungodly hour. But when Reno’s handcuffs begun to shrink, the older redhead quickly pushed Axel aside and all but ran into the room. When Axel felt Vincent’s glare on his back, he followed his brother’s example.

“As I said before, I am Vincent. The Goddess blessed me with the same gift as you” Vincent held out his right hand and the brothers watched, fascinated, as it caught on fire “I will help you understand it, tame it, control it and use it in a battle. By the time we are finished, fire will be your greatest and most powerful ally” he tightened his hand into a fist and the flame disappeared.

“We will be meeting every day at either 5AM or midnight unless I will be sent away on a mission. You are not to use fire before you learn basic control over it. Just this once, I will escort you back to your rooms after our training session is over and I will be back for you at before 2PM in order to take you to your combat training”

“Could you take the handcuffs off, dude? They’re really uncomfy” Reno shook his hands in front of the man’s face. Vincent’s expression didn’t change much, but his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Taking it as his cue to shut Reno up before some disaster could occur, Axel quickly jabbed his brother in the ribs.

“Ow! What the fuck, Ax?”

“Most mentors use the first lesson to explain how the Goddess’ gift has come to be and how it functions. I find the theory an unnecessary time consumer and believe that understanding something as wild as the fire element is best done through practise” Vincent snapped his fingers and the handcuffs around Reno’s writs disappeared.

“All elemental magic is associated with a certain set of mind. For water it’s melancholy. For air it’s happiness. For earth it’s peacefulness. For light it’s kindness. The list goes on. Our element – fire – is mostly associated with anger. That does not mean that it can only be used when the user is enraged. However it is at its’ most uncontrollable then. Usually when the gift first shows itself, it’s when the user is angry” Vincent’s eyes landed on Axel briefly before turning to Reno “It also goes in pair with mischief” the brothers shared a look.

“So… when did you realize you had the gift?” Reno asked carefully, but was not rewarded with the answer he was hoping for.

“It matters not. We shouldn’t waste our time. Take positions” when the brothers didn’t move, he motioned Axel to stand on the left side of the room, and Reno to stand on the right. He nodded his head when he was satisfied with where they were standing and extended his arm.

“I want you to remember the moment your element has first showed itself. Think about this memory carefully. Grasp it. Let the flames consume you” as if on cue, Vincent’s arm burst into flames, bright and unyielding and uncontrollable “And then take control of it. Fight for your dominance. Do not let your body be taken from you”  the brothers watched as the flames got smaller and smaller with each passing second, before they turned into nothing but smoke. That, too, vanished soon after.

“Go on. The older one first” Reno grinned widely and stretched before taking a step forward. He was obviously excited, his blue eyes glimmering with mischief. He quickly gave Axel thumbs up over his shoulder before turning his full attention to his left hand. He stared at it intently for a few seconds before closing his eyes.

Both Axel and Vincent observed him closely, waiting for any trace of fire. But after four minutes, Reno’s hand still remained flameless. The older redhead opened one of his eyes and squinted at his fist, a frown replacing his previous grin.

“Why ain’t it working?”

“Do not focus on the memory itself. Focus on what you had felt the first time your gift made itself known” Reno shared another look with Axel, both of them unimpressed with that answer. Nonetheless the older redhead straightened his back, his eyes closing once more.

After another three fruitless minutes, Reno’s knuckles were slowly turning white from how hard he was squeezing his fist. Axel was about to comment that the whole ordeal was pointless because it obviously wasn’t working, when something happened. At first it was just a spark, but then it got more noticeable. Reno’s white knuckles turned an angry red colour and then a burst of orange and yellow and crimson filled the room.

Axel took in a shuddered breath as he watched the flames slowly consuming the rest of his brother’s arm. But they weren’t stopping, no. They kept spreading, slowly going down Reno’s torso. Much to Axel’s horror, the older redhead, who still had his eyes closed, seemed clueless.

“Good. Now imagine someone is trying to harm you. Someone is trying to force you to do something you do not wish to do. Would you agree to do that?”

“Fuck no” Reno’s face was almost entirely consumed by fire by that point, and Axel was ready to run out from the room and look for water. Vincent stood calmly in the doorway, though, blocking the only way out.

“Then don’t let them control you” just as the tip of Reno’s goggles was about to be covered by the flames, the fire slowly started disappearing. It was a slow and long process that took ten whole minutes, but at the end there was no trace of any scarlet flames anywhere.

“Good. You may open your eyes now” Reno blinked slowly, taking in the room around him. Nothing seemed to have changed, much to his annoyance. By Vincent’s words, he had assumed that he managed to set something on fire. But the room was still pristine white, not a trace of flames or smoke anywhere. He didn’t feel any different either, and he couldn’t locate any burns on his body. He scowled, glaring at the pale man in front of him.

“So I just stood there like an idiot for half an hour, yo?” Vincent didn’t say anything, and Reno’s accusing eyes turned to Axel.

“Dude. You were on _fire_.  Seriously, I was afraid you’d burn to crisp or something” Reno visibly brightened at the response, his cocky grin returning to his face.

“Yeah? I’ve always known I was awesome”

“If you are done, please repeat the process. This time with your eyes open. Younger Sinclair, you may now concentrate on your memory as well” the brothers nodded. Axel glanced at Reno, before letting his eyes close.

He tried to remember what had caused the fire to act up for the first time. The reply came easily. His asshole, stuck-up ex-boss. The lighter exploded in the guy’s face leaving him a wailing mess and sending Axel into hysterical laughter. It was a nice memory that caused the younger redhead to smirk. He could clearly remember how fast his anger turned into happiness, how pretty the flame was.

“Holy shit Ax your pants are on fire”

“Good, Axel. Good. Now try to take control over it. Do not let it consume your existence. As for you, Sinclair, focus more on yourself”

“Why’s he getting the first name treatment and I’m stuck with ‘Sinclair’, yo? Not cool, man. Not cool”

Axel ignored his brother’s comments and tried to focus on the command Vincent had given him. He didn’t feel any different except for the slightly warm tingle all over his body. But judging by his mentor’s and Reno’s reactions, clearly he must have created something.

He tried to focus on imagining the fire being tamed, but couldn’t really visualize it. Fire wasn’t meant to be tamed. It was meant to be wild and unstoppable and destructive. It was meant to grow stronger and stronger and illuminate the world with its’ beauty. It was meant to both harm and keep people safe. How was he supposed to imagine something so powerful be tamed?

So he tried a different strategy. He thought about his parents, who he hadn’t seen for years. Back when he was still living in Twilight Town, they kept telling him that he would take over family business, that he didn’t have a choice. They didn’t care that he didn’t want to do anything else. So he ran away, leaving the shackles behind. And his ex-boss. That pompous, irritating asshole. Always trying to demean him in front of others. Trying to force him to do things he felt disgusted by. He remembered the promises of a raise if he sucked him off in the office. Remembered flipping him the bird and feeling so free after such a simple action. It was liberating. Who was he kidding, how could something simple like fire _ever_ try to control him? He was too awesome for something like that.

“Wonderful. You show a lot of promise, Axel. Now repeat the process with open eyes. You should follow your younger brother’s example and focus more, Sinclair”

Axel could feel a grin spreading across his face. He was going to kick ass.

xxx

Axel didn’t really want to kick ass anymore. In fact, he didn’t want to do anything other than sleep for two days straight. And maybe eat a mountain of pizzas. But mostly sleep.

Vincent Valentine was the Devil. The redhead knew that from the moment the guy started pounding on his door at five in the morning, but he let his guard down when his mentor started calling him by his name. It was a mistake, to think the guy could be nice or kind or bearable. He was neither of these. He was a cold, brooding monster, that’s what he was. He wouldn’t answer any questions that weren’t fire control related, and he mostly glared at the wall. During the training – which lasted five whole hours – he hadn’t moved once, guarding the door to the training room like a Cerberus. Not even when Reno begged to let him go to the toilet did the guy move, claiming that it was a good self-control training.

_That_ wasn’t even so bad. What was bad, however, was that they had to keep doing the routine of summoning fire and controlling it all the time. At first Axel was hyped about it. At first, each try was easier from the last one. But after the third hour, both brothers were exhausted and if it wasn’t for Vincent, they would have most likely burnt alive. Twenty times. Which Axel still didn’t really understand, because while the fire didn’t harm them in any way during the first two hours, afterwards it kept sending a burning sensation through them. There weren’t any burn marks, though.

Vincent was also the devil because he was pounding on Axel’s door. Again.

As soon as they got back from their training, both Axel and Reno quickly went into the cafeteria and stuffed themselves silly with all the small pizzas. Afterwards they parted in the elevator, both more than ready to fall asleep. That’s what they did, or at least that’s what Axel did. He had been sleeping happily, dreaming of nothing, when Vincent arrived again.

Axel groaned, glancing at the clock. 1:30 PM.

“What the fuck. It was 10:30 five minutes ago” he grumbled, slipping out of bed nonetheless. He noticed that neither Marluxia nor Demyx were in the room, meaning they were either with their mentors or they had already headed to the combat training.

He reluctantly approached the door, opening it to reveal a stoic Vincent. He could see a rather pissed off Reno and a calm Rude behind him, and his suspicions that it was time to get moving to another training were confirmed. Vincent handed him a box with clothes. The redhead quickly realized they were his old clothes from Midgar, but before he could ask his mentor where he got them, the man turned around and left.

“Get ready, Axel. I promised Vincent I would take both you and Reno to the training grounds. It is best we are not late” Rude gave him a small smile and, if Axel wasn’t quite as tired, he would have returned it. But he _was_ tired and irritated _and_ hungry, so he simply took out random clothes from the box and moved towards the bathrooms.

Reno and Rude were already both more than ready to go by the time he had finally finished washing up and changing.

“Move your fucking ass, Ax. If we’re late and some psycho Soldier tries to kill us, I’ll tell your new roommates about how _cute_ you looked in your _braces_ and that you drank so much carrot juice that you turned fucking _orange_ ”

“Fuck off, Reno. At least I never dyed my hair and ended up looking like a goddamn Christmas tree because I lived in a delusion that I _knew_ how to dye hair unlike _someone_ ”  

They kept arguing all the way to the training grounds, much to Rude’s unhappiness. No matter how many times he asked them to calm down, they stubbornly kept coming up with new insults.

By the time they arrived to the place, which turned out to be a giant field with sand instead of grass, there were already quite a lot of people. Axel noticed Demyx talking animatedly with Marluxia and some blonde chick with weirdly styled hair. Deciding it was better to join them than stay with Reno, he flipped his brother off and approached the trio.

“Axel! Hi! Where have you been, man? When we woke up you were already gone! You a morning person or something?” Demyx asked cheerfully, slinging his arm around the redhead’s shoulder.

“Hell no. My mentor is a psycho. I started my training at 5 AM” the blond winced, offering him a sympathetic smile.

“Yesh, that’s gotta suck. Aqua never sets training before nine. You gotta survive somehow. Oh, yeah! Ax, this is Larxene. She punched me in the face accidentally and we became friends” he motioned to the blonde girl, who sneered at the mention of friendship.

“For the last time, jackass, I hit you _intentionally_ because you’re _annoying_ ” she hissed, but the message was clearly lost on Demyx, who started telling Axel all about what new he had learnt during training with his mentor today.

“Quiet, everyone” the voice coming somewhere from the front caused Axel to cease his conversation with the others. He looked up, searching for the source. It wasn’t hard to notice two figures standing in front of everyone. One of them was visibly taller than the other. Both, however, were wearing the same long, dark coats, similar to the one that Zexion had on during Axel’s first meeting with the illusionist. Their hoods were up, making it impossible to see their faces, even though Axel’s group was relatively close.

 “Welcome to AVALANCHE. It’s great to see so many of you” the taller figure spoke before taking off the cloak. The guy wasn’t wearing any shirt underneath it, but with a body like that, Axel wasn’t surprised.

If this wasn’t an underground society, he would have definitely made it on the covers of all the magazines promoting fitness and bodybuilding. His abs looked rock-solid and _perfect_. Axel wasn’t even sure if someone’s body could look this good outside of edited photos. His stomach wasn’t the only thing that was toned, though. It appeared that most of his body was. It didn’t hurt that the guy was quite handsome, too. His brown hair was a bit spiked at the top and reached the base of his neck, and his blue eyes stood out on his tanned face. Overall, Axel was pretty sure the guy had about as many enemies that were jealous of his body as he had fans.

But any and all thoughts regarding the mysterious Godly Abs disappeared from Axel’s head when the second figure removed the cloak.

Unlike his companion, this guy was wearing a dark blue, sleeveless shirt underneath the cloak. It did little to hide the fact that his abs probably looked just as good as the taller guy’s. Or the fact that he had a rather impressive tattoo of an angry-looking tiger on his right arm. He was wearing a black-and-white checkered wristband on his left wrist and Axel almost laughed in disbelief. His hair, blond and messy and spiky and just a bit longer than before sent a painful jolt through the redhead’s chest. But most importantly, his eyes. Cold and calculating and blue, oh so blue. Lighter in colour than his companion’s, but darker than Demyx’s. Blue, blue eyes, that were so full of life and irritation and were staring right back at Axel.

It seems Roxas wasn’t quite as dead as Axel had thought.

* * *

_To the floor, to the floor, hit the red line_   
_Flying high, flying high at the speed of light_   
_Full of love, full of light, full of fight_   
_Cause I'm back, back, back from the dead tonight_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for any embarrassing mistakes ;w; . Also, thank you for all the kudos and lovely comments. They made me really happy, so thanks a lot!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, I'm sorry for any mistakes.

* * *

  _I'm still trying to figure out how to tell you I was wrong_  
_I can't fill the emptiness inside since you've been gone_  
_So is it you or is it me?_  
_I know I said things that I didn't mean_  
_But you should've known me by now_  
_You should've known me_

* * *

 

If his life was a movie, he would have been prepared and all of this would have been different.

He would have run up to Roxas and punched him square in his pretty face. Then he'd lecture him. Tell him how much hell he had put him through. How Axel had mourned him for all these years, blaming himself and thinking the blond was dead and six feet under. Then Roxas would apologize, and Axel, being the amazing person that he was, would forgive him. They'd seal the apology with a hug, and some sentimental song would play in the background. Godly Abs would nod with approval, smiling at them and excusing them from the training session. Roxas would take him to some lake or something and they'd catch up, discussing all that's happened in these six years that they were apart. And they'd be the best of friends until death did them part. Or something.

Axel's life, however, was not a movie.

He was staring. He was aware of that, as probably were the others around him.  And as was Roxas. Obviously. Roxas was, after all, staring right back. Though perhaps 'glaring' would be a better term.

This kind of situation was not really something Axel was prepared for. It's not like they ever taught kids at school what to do in a situation when your supposedly dead ex-best friend suddenly appeared in front of you. Alive. Not zombie-alive. Just alive. Like, a normal human being alive. Axel was pretty sure that anyone in this sort of situation would be just as shocked and at a loss for words as he was right now.

“You know, pretty sure blondie over there doesn't appreciate you making bedroom eyes at him. He's kinda glaring. And you kinda suck at bedroom eyes” Axel blinked, glancing at the pink-haired man on his left. Marluxia's grin couldn't be described as anything but perverted, though 'sick' would probably fit well, too.

“What the fuck? I'm not making bedroom eyes at anyone. I just-” Axel's words were interrupted when Godly Abs cleared his throat, giving all the Trainees a look that caused most of the people to stop whispering.

“Trainees. Welcome to Radiant Garden. My name is Terra Fair and this is Roxas Strife” Axel's breath caught in his throat. Even though he already knew who the person standing next to Godly Abs was, hearing the name made it all the more real.

“We will be your mentors for the following few weeks. It's going to be tough. You will most likely want to quit a few times. But it is necessary that you have the knowledge we will pass down on you!” Terra snapped his fingers, and a weapon similar to the one the blue-haired woman wielded the previous day appeared in his hands. Excited murmurs broke all around Axel, but the redhead didn't care. He was shocked the first time he had witnessed it, too. But now, it didn't really have that much of an effect.

“This is neither a game nor a joke. You are dead, do not be mistaken. You have died up there, in the world above, and there is no going back. You must let go of your pasts and focus on the future. You have to focus on the next life. On _this_ life. The one you will lead here, in Radiant Garden. In AVALANCHE” Terra continued, giving them a look of authority. Next, he started saying something about Soldiers and Civilians both needing each other, but Axel had lost interest at that point. He shifted his gaze to the left of Godly Abs, his eyes landing on Roxas.

He was staring again, but he didn't give a single fuck.

Most people hit puberty. Their features sharpened, making them look more mature than childish. Their voices changed. They suddenly grew taller, pimples and other annoying stuff started marring their skin. They slowly transformed from an adorable kid to an awkward teen, to an adult.

If most people hit puberty, then Roxas must have beaten the shit out of it.

He was beautiful. It wasn’t meant to be a petty compliment, or a leery comment. It was just the truth, and everyone gathered must have noticed, just as Axel had. From where he was standing, the redhead couldn’t see one imperfection on the blond’s face. His eyes, though still annoyed at the world, were bright and sharp, holding wisdom and experience that all of the Trainees were lacking. His features were soft and sharp all at once, making him look attractive and mature despite – or perhaps _because_ of – the boyish charm he had not yet lost. His hair was slightly longer, but still styled in that ridiculous way that made him look like a victim of a nasty hurricane. But, unlike in the past, it only added made him look attractive.

Not to mention he was taller. Godly Abs was still taller than him, but Roxas effortlessly reached his eyes with that stupid hairstyle of his. Without it, he’d probably be around the chin or nose level. And though Godly Abs was probably a bit shorter than Axel, the height difference between the two of them couldn’t have possibly been too big.

It was weird, seeing that someone you used to know years ago had become someone completely different. Aside for the hair and eyes and that _stupid_ checkered wristband, there was nothing familiar about the person standing next to Terra. The Roxas Axel knew had never been shy, by no means. But he was quiet, a bit timid. He didn’t like the spotlight and preferred to keep in the shadows, buried in his long-sleeved jackets and too-big hoodies. He didn’t like confrontation if he could avoid it, and he lacked a bit in the confidence department. Plus sometimes, he’d look so frightened, like a child that was about to be scolded for doing something bad.

This Roxas - so tall and confident, staring at the Trainees with his head held high - was a stranger.

And that's probably why any and all regret and guilt disappeared, replaced by fury.

“Axel? Where're you going, dude?” the redhead shrugged off Demyx's arm from around his shoulders and took a step forward. Then another one, and another. He made his way through the crowd, ignoring the annoyed mumbles from all the people he shoved away. His eyes were solely focused on Roxas' form, and the closer he got to the other boy, the angrier he felt.

He was no further than ten steps away when the blond's annoyed eyes met his.

For just a second, it was only the two of them. And then Axel moved.

“You fucking asshole. I mourned you for six _fucking_ years” the redhead spit out, glaring at the blond. Not giving him a chance to say anything, Axel reeled his arm back and threw a punch that he hoped would leave at least a decently nasty bruise.

Axel forgot that, being their fighting mentor and all, Roxas must have been pretty skilled when it came to combat.

The blond easily avoided the fist, catching Axel's arm into his and holding it in place. With a glare that would put the basilisk to shame, he jabbed the redhead in the stomach with his elbow. Axel didn't have the time to catch the breath that left him upon the impact, as Roxas kicked his feet from beneath him and sent the redhead falling backwards. Axel's back hit the ground with a loud 'thud' and he groaned.

“Don't make me laugh” it took Axel a second to realize that someone was speaking to him. It took him another to realize that the voice belonged to Roxas. He glanced up, but instead of focusing on the blond, his eyes landed on the blade that was pointed at him. It was the same weirdly-shaped sword, but this one was pitch black and extremely ominous-looking.

“You have no right to be angry at me. If I remember correctly, you _wanted_ me dead” Roxas' voice was quiet, so quiet Axel had to strain to hear it. Just after that one sentence, though, he didn't want to hear anymore. His heart squeezed painfully at the accusation, but the sword that was pointed at him prevented him from speaking up.

“I feel sick just _looking_ at you. I never wanted anything to do with you ever again. I never thought I'd _have to_ see you again. You were supposed to be just an unpleasant memory of the past. Just someone I had the misfortune of knowing in the previous life” Roxas' blade moved just a little closer to Axel's throat, but the redhead didn't really notice. He was taking in all the words pouring out of the blond's lips. They were like poison, slowly killing all the rage the redhead felt just moments ago. The anger turned to guilt again, and he desperately wanted the blond to stop speaking. Roxas wasn't having any of that, though.

“I knew you were coming here. Aerith told me. She asked me if I was alright with her bringing you and Reno here. I wasn't. I'm still not. But I'm not a brat, and I wasn't about to take away an Escape from someone. Even if that someone was _you_. I have no idea what your circumstances were, and I don't give a damn. But if Aerith heard your soul, you obviously needed help” Roxas let go of the blade and it turned into million little sparks before disappearing completely. But the blond was still speaking, and his words cut deeper into the redhead's heart than any sword ever could.

“I had no idea you'd be in this group of Trainees. But what's done is done. Grow the fuck up and deal with it, just like I intend on doing. After this month or however long the training takes, we probably won't have to deal with each other ever again. So go back to the other Trainees, keep your mouth shut and _learn_ ” Roxas turned on his heel, and Axel let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He didn't even have the time to relax, though, when strong arms pulled him up and he came face to face with Godly Abs.

Terra looked about twice as ripped from up close as he did from afar. His thighs had the potential to crush a watermelon, and Axel wouldn't have been surprised if the guy had accidentally killed someone with a slap once. And his _abs_. The redhead was sure that, if someone ever tried to stab the guy with a sword, they’d be in for a nasty surprise and wind up with a broken weapon. 

“You hurt the twins _once_ and I'll carry out your punishment myself” Terra hissed, his glare almost as terrifying as Roxas’. His hand was squeezing Axel’s bicep painfully. It would leave a bruise and the redhead wasn’t looking forward to it. He tried to shake off the man’s hold on him, but to no avail.

“I’m serious. You keep away from them if you know what’s good for you” with a final squeeze, the man let go and Axel stumbled back. He knew that glaring would do him no good in this situation, so he opted for cursing Roxas and his friend to hell and back again in his head. He glanced at the blond one last time before turning around and entering the crowd of curious, wide-eyed Trainees. Bunch of fucking vultures.

Axel was more than ready to go to the far back of the crowd, maybe even sneak away from the training altogether. No one would notice if he left, and he didn’t feel like doing anything else after this confrontation. He was tired, and he wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep for a week. Maybe he’d wake up in his shitty bed, in the shitty flat he shared with Reno and Rude, in the shittiest city on the southern side of their shitty country. At this point, anything would be better than being here, stuck with Roxas of all people.

Axel was pulled away from his daydreams when sharp nails dug into his forearm, forcing a hiss of pain out of him. He looked up, ready to yell at whoever dared touch him, when his eyes met Larxene’s. And damn, did she look furious.

“What the fuck was that! That was softer than your impotent midget dick! My grandfather could punch harder and he was a lousy fucking wimp! What the fuck was that out there, firecrotch? It wasn’t even a punch! A turtle sneeze would hurt more than that!” she kept ranting as she pulled him through the crowd, until the two of them were back to where Demyx and Marluxia were standing. Her nails broke his skin and he was bleeding from five different spots, but he didn’t notice, too busy staring at her with bewildered eyes.

“I’m so fucking embarrassed just _standing_ next to you. What the hell were you trying to do, make everyone laugh? Cause you _succeeded_. An infant could avoid that lousy punch of yours! If Blondie went any easier on you he would have died from boredom. What the fuck was that stance!” she pushed him at Demyx and Marluxia, and if the two hadn’t caught him, he would have been able to introduce himself to the ground from up-close again.

“Heh, don’t mind her. She’s been mumbling about your awful form since you went out there. She’s gone all psycho. I think it’s because she’s a boxing champion and thinks everyone else should be, too” Demyx grinned at him wildly.

“MMA you goddamn idiot!” Larxene seethed, glaring at all three of them.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever” Demyx ignored the finger that the blonde girl showed him and looked at Axel again “Anyway, dude that was really stupid of you. I mean, yeah I guess Blondie looks a whole lot weaker than Stud Muffin-“

“Stud Muffin?” the redhead interrupted, raising his eyebrow.

“Yeah, Stud Muffin. Anyway man, so yeah I guess Blondie looks weaker, but, and no offence man, compared to him you’re basically a twig” Marluxia snickered, and it took all of Axel’s willpower not to punch both the pink-haired man and Demyx. The blond, obviously not noticing the glare that was directed at him, kept talking.

“Just look at his muscles! I bet he works out all day. Stud Muffin probably works out all day _and_ all night, but I mean, Blondie’s not that bad looking either. You, on the other hand, look like you hadn’t seen a gym in months” Axel wanted to interrupt, wanted to say that he had been in one not even three weeks ago and that he worked out regularly, thank you very much. But trying to interrupt Demyx while he was on one of his rants was like trying to stop a train with one hand.

“And, hey, it’s fine! I’ve never been to a gym either. I mean, I swim. I’ve never seen the appeal of gyms, yanno? All these smelly dudes and dudettes. And water calms me down. It’s funky, how you can just go under and-“

Axel hadn’t known Demyx all that long, but even he recognized a monologue when he was faced with one. So, instead of listening to the other guy’s rambling, he turned to the front of the group, his eyes landing on Roxas and Terra once more. They were whispering to each other, and judging by the pissed look on the blond’s face, and the concern clearly visible on the brunet’s, they were probably arguing. Terra was obviously losing the argument, though, and the punch on the shoulder that Roxas delivered only proved that point. The two stared at each other for a few seconds, before they turned to face the Trainees once more. Roxas, Axel noticed, looked pleased with himself. Something about that expression pissed the redhead off.

Terra cleared his throat, silencing the whispering crowd of Trainees.

“Right. As I was saying before this little disturbance, the Wise family-“ the brunet began, but was cut off abruptly by Roxas elbowing him in the side.

“No one _cares_ Terra. They were all yawning before, and I bet they will start again if you don’t shut up” the brunet looked mildly offended at the statement, but the blond didn’t seem to care. If it was anyone else, Axel would have probably laughed. But it was _Roxas_. He _couldn’t_ laugh. 

“Trainees. Welcome to Radiant Garden. Unlike Terra over there, I don’t want to bore you to death with the history of AVALANCHE. I’m sorry the upper world was shitty enough for you to end up here. But it’s over and done with. You’re safe, you’re healthy, you’re alive. You’re probably scared shitless and confused, too. That’s okay. We’ve all been in your shoes before. I’m not a great speaker, but I can promise you one thing. You get used to this. You get used to weapons appearing out of thin air and people floating above the trees. You get used to your new life, and as time passes, things seem less weird and confusing than at the beginning” Roxas regarded them with a calm, calculating look, before a small grin appeared on his face. It startled Axel – who hadn’t been expecting to see the blond smiling ever again - so much, that the redhead almost didn’t catch the next words spoken by the blond. Almost.

“But you are at the beginning. And the beginning means combat training. But before we start the combat training, you have to build your stamina. After we stretch a bit, you’ll run one lap around the field. Terra will lead you. I’ll be right behind all of you, making sure that none of you cheat or faint. I’ll be passing out water bottles during the run and after, too”

Murmurs broke out once more, and Axel turned his eyes away from Roxas when Demyx threw his arm around him.

“One lap? Think they’re going easy on us because they don’t want to scare us during our first training?” Marluxia shrugged in response.

“Who knows. But I’m definitely not complaining”

xxx

There was this saying that his grandfather used to say a lot back when he was still alive.

Don't count your chickens before they're hatched.

Yes. Axel was too young to really get it back then, but now he understood perfectly. His whole body was screaming with pain, to the point where he didn’t even _feel_ it anymore. Too many places hurt all at once, and he had slowly become numb to it. He’d been staring at the ceiling for the past twenty minutes, completely indifferent to the world. He had no idea if he’d blinked in all the time that has passed since they returned to their room, and he really couldn’t care less.

Out of the three of them, Demyx was probably faring the best. At least he was still able to moan in pain, which would indicate that he could feel something different than numbness. That had to count for something.

Marluxia fell asleep as soon as he hit the mattress, and he resembled a corpse that had suffered greatly before it’s’ death. His usually perfectly styled hair was sprawled all over the sheets, and maybe if Axel wasn’t feeling like seven different kinds of shit, he’d have found the sight hilarious.

It’s amazing, how one lap can destroy a person’s happiness. Axel had never been a huge fan of running, but after this day, he never wanted to see a track field ever again in his life.

The stretches had been fine. They did most of them in pairs, and Axel had quickly grabbed Marluxia before either Demyx or Larxene could get their hands on him. Aside for the many annoying and perverted comments directed at him, Marluxia was an alright stretching partner. Not overly enthusiastic like Demyx, and not as bloodthirsty as Larxene. The two blondes actually made a pretty balanced pair in all their insanity as well.

But then the running began.

They all lined up behind Terra, who kept telling them that they should run at their own pace and, if they really couldn’t do it anymore, to walk the rest of the lap. Of course, everyone was confident that they’d be able to finish the lap. After all, how hard could running one lap _possibly_ be? And so the run began. And they kept following Terra like obedient little puppies. And following. And _following_.

After half an hour, the brunet merrily informed them that they were halfway and that they were doing great. That was probably the moment when Demyx teared up and joined an already huge group of people that decided to walk instead of running. Axel and Marluxia tried to hang on a bit longer, but eventually joined the blond. Larxene sneered at them, called them weaklings, and sped up. All of them believed she’d drop out in a matter of five minutes.

Only four people, excluding Terra, ran the whole lap.

Larxene was one of these people. So, for that matter, was Rude. 

Axel had never considered himself out of shape. He had always assumed that these weekly visits to the gym would make him stronger, give him a better endurance, even if he had neglected the exercises for the past three weeks.

He had been wrong.

After running there were push ups. And then sit ups. Crunches. Planks. Jumping jacks. V-sits. Fifty other exercises that Axel just couldn’t be bothered to remember the names of. In other words, hell.

After the training, both Roxas and Terra looked like they could repeat the whole process at least a thousand more times. Unlike the Trainees, who had all been lying on the ground in different states of despair and exhaustion. Even Larxene, who had admittedly done the best out of all the Trainees, had promptly fallen asleep after doing the last push up.

“I’m not going back there tomorrow. Hell, I won’t be _able_ to go back there tomorrow. I probably won’t be able to get up at all! They lied to me. They said it’d be peaceful here. They lieeed” Demyx wailed from his bed, but not even this woke Marluxia up. Axel tried not to focus on the blond’s words, tried not to think about tomorrow, or training, or _Roxas_ , or anything of the sort. With great effort and a wince of pain, he turned on his bed. Away from Demyx, away from reality.

He was asleep within minutes.  

xxx

“I think I’m getting used to pain” Marluxia grumbled, his breath uneven.

“Yeah, I know what you mean” Axel nodded, breathing just as hard.

In the following week, the redhead had fallen into a monotonous routine. Wake up at 4:30 AM, be dragged to fire training by a stoic Vincent, get back at around ten, eat food, snooze, eat food, go to combat training, stretch, run, build stamina, build muscles, be glared at by Roxas, go back to the room, snooze, eat food, talk with Demyx and Marluxia, sleep. It might have sounded boring, but it was giving results. Other than pain, that is.

Slowly, but surely, he could run longer distances. Most exercises got easier to do, and he had to take fewer and fewer breaks between them. That wasn’t all, though. His fire control was getting better as well. Yesterday, Vincent had taught them how to make fireballs. Fireballs!

“I bet that he’s not even real. It wouldn’t surprise me if he was an illusion. Just look at him, it’s like he’s gliding through the air. He’s not even breaking a sweat and we’ve been running for, what, fifty minutes?” Marluxia kept grumbling, motioning to Roxas with his head. Indeed, the blond in the front didn’t seem the least bit tired, and Axel found it as unfair as Marluxia.

“He’s pissing me off. It’s like he’s _mocking_ me. So what that he can run twenty kilometres and look glorious. I bet he doesn’t know what a Middlemist Red is” Axel shared a look with Demyx. Neither of them knew what the pink-haired man was talking about, but they assumed that ranting helped him cope with running.

“Well, but Larxene sure is something else. She’s been keeping up with the instructors all this time” Axel motioned to the blonde girl. She was running much faster than them, only a little behind Roxas. She was chatting with Rude and other sports-happy people, and though she was sweating, she still looked much better than the three of them. Axel glanced at his own sweat-soaked shirt and grimaced in disgust.

“I-I can’t do this anymore. Go on without me” Demyx suddenly whined from behind them, and Axel turned his head just in time to see the blond slow down to a walk.

“You’ll live on in our memory, soldier” Axel mock-saluted him, and Demyx grinned at him with all the strength he had left.

That’s another development that was worth mentioning. He, Demyx and Marluxia had all grown close. It’s not like Axel had trouble making friends, but at the same time, he wasn’t used to feeling so… _connected_ to others. Especially not this quickly. He didn’t trust people easily, and kept all his ‘friends’ at a safe distance. You could never be too careful, especially with so many backstabbing assholes roaming around Midgar.

According to Demyx, it was because all of them were misfits who could finally belong. But Demyx was a sentimental sap.

After another two minutes, Marluxia dropped out of the run as well, leaving the redhead alone with his thoughts. Including him, only about twenty five people were left on the battlefield. Reno was in the front, but ways behind Rude and Larxene. Axel considered catching up to his brother, but decided against it. If he kept the current pace, maybe he’d be able to finish the lap. That’d be a first.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity later, he ran through the finish line. He dropped down next to his brother, breathing heavily.

“I’m too old for this” Reno complained, taking off his sweat-soaked shirt. Everything was visible through it anyway.

“Rude’s older and he’s doing just fine” Axel pointed out, and both of the redheads turned to look at their friend. Unlike them, Rude wasn’t sitting or lying flat on the ground, looking like a pathetic loser. He was talking with Terra about something. Unconsciously, Axel’s eyes swept towards the blond instructor. Roxas was passing out water bottles, occasionally chatting with the Trainees. Reno followed his gaze, and a grin spread across his face.

“You know, I’m sure if you tell him how much you’ve _missed_ him he’ll forgive you in a heartbeat” the older redhead snickered, and Axel turned to him with a scowl.

“What? I didn’t miss him, I-“

“Oh, _suuure_ you didn’t. That’s why you spent two weeks after his death depressed in your room. And that’s why you’d only buy sea-salt ice cream on February 13 th. And don’t even get me started on how mopey you’d get on his _death day_ ” Axel refused to flinch at the accusations, so he glared instead.

“Aw, stop pouting Ax. You don’t look cute at all, yo. Leave pouting to cute girls” Reno started laughing again, and if Axel had a bit more strength, he would have punched his brother right in the nose.

“If you don’t shut up I’ll-“

“Water?” his head shot up, eyes meeting Roxas’ cold, disinterested gaze. That was possibly the only moment when the blond would talk to him directly. Asking if he wanted water, passing him the bottle and then moving on, repeating the question to another person.

“Yeah” Axel reached out his hand to take the bottle, but Reno beat him to it.

“Ah, saviour of the fallen under your very own tyranny. Are you an angel or a devil? Do you deliver water to save us, or to keep us alive for your own purposes? I will find out, one day. But for now, I accept your gift” Reno greedily took the offered bottle, uncapping it and draining the drink in one go. Both Axel and Roxas watched him, the first one with irritation and the latter with something resembling amusement.

“Did you hit your head, Reno?” Roxas asked after the older redhead set the bottle aside, his lips quirking up a bit.

“Nah, I was just really fucking thirsty yo. Not everyone can run for an hour and be full of life, kid”

“If you seriously want to become a Soldier you should get used to it. One lap’s just a warm-up, you know” Roxas handed Reno another bottle, which was received with a grateful grin.

“You sure grew up to be a little heartbreaker, huh?” Roxas shrugged at the accusation.

“Someone has to be the villain. I took this burden upon myself”

“Did Valentine get the memo? Or is there more than one villain?” this time, Roxas definitely smiled.

“I’m just a lowly underling. Vincent’s the evil final boss you have to beat. And it’s just his first form. You have to be at least level 84 before taking him on”

“Damn. That’s 80 levels to go” Reno sighed dramatically, uncapping his second water bottle.

“I recommend the Training Hall side quest. You can get a lot of experience there” Roxas turned his face to the side, watching as another group of Trainees crossed the finish line “Well, that’s my cue. See you around, Reno” not even looking at Axel, the blond tossed a water bottle in his direction before walking away.

Axel, meanwhile, was at a loss for words. He caught the bottle on pure instinct, his eyes not once leaving Roxas’ retreating form. When he finally realized that his brother and ex-friend engaged in a conversation as though they were old friends, he turned to Reno, accusation and betrayal written all over his face.

“What the fuck was that?” he asked, glaring at his brother. When Reno didn’t reply, too focused on drinking his water, Axel snatched the bottle away.

“Hey! I was drinking that!” Reno protested loudly.

“I don’t _care_. What the hell, Reno? Since when are you and _him_ such good friends?” Axel demanded, glaring at his brother’s face. The older redhead merely rolled his eyes, before glancing at the blond. After passing the water to the almost-dead Trainees lying on the ground, Roxas had joined Terra and Rude.

“You remember the girl that was found dead with the twerps? Young, dark hair, huge boobs?” not waiting for a response, Reno continued “That was Tifa. I told you about her, way back. You know, Cloud’s girlfriend and shit. I was chilling with Rude in his room, and his roommates suck by the way, and then his mentor came. Had a surprise of my life when Tifa kicked the door open, heh. Almost suffocated me with her boobs, too. I swear they keep growing-“

“And what’s the point?” Axel interrupted, recognizing the leery expression on his brother’s face. If Reno got a hard-on right here, Axel would never be able to look anyone in the eye. Everyone would know he was related to that perverted son of a bitch.

“Ah, so impatient. The point, little bro, is that Tifa agreed to take me along with Rude to their training. I’ve always known she could throw a punch, but after that session the nickname ‘Iron Fist’ gets a whole new meaning, yo. Anyway, unlike us, Rude isn’t taken to the dungeons and tortured. Tifa takes him to a training room, where there are other people. Where he can socialize, and go to the toilet whenever he wants, and even _eat a snack_ ” seeing that Axel was about to interrupt him again, Reno rolled his eyes

“Geez, who set your pants on fire? As I was saying, there are other people in the room. Namely, Roxas and a bunch of other Soldiers. So hey, watching Rude punching a wall was interesting for a whole minute before I got bored. So I mingled. There’s a chick that speaks a whole other language, and a guy that can jump really fucking high, yo.  And your _precious_ Roxas was sparring with some silver-haired guy with these weird swords of theirs. They call ‘em keyblades by the way. A-ny-way, unlike you, little bro, I’m not an awkward, angsty little fuck, so I approached them and asked if everyone had these weirdass weapons and if I could get one too. Ya know, conversations really aren’t _that_ hard”

“I still don’t see the fucking point, Reno” Axel said dryly, his eyes turning towards the finish line when he heard Demyx’s weak cry of joy.  

“That’s ‘cause you’re dumb. The point, Ax, is that Roxas doesn’t fucking bite and if you tell him you’re sorry for being a little bitch, he’ll probably forgive you. You won’t go back to being besties just like that, but don’t burn the bridges just yet” Reno got up, smirking at Axel. He gave him the finger and then, with an unexplainable burst of energy, ran towards Rude and the instructors.

Rude, to his credit, didn’t lose his balance when the redhead came crushing at him.

xxx

“You’re making progress. Good. You’re dismissed”

Reno moaned unhappily as soon as the two of them left room F781 BG. They had just finished another day of Vincent wiping the floor with them. Axel felt drained, as he usually did after their sessions with the black-haired man, but not nearly as tired as he did on his first day. After breakfast, he didn’t feel the need to go back to his room and sleep till noon, which was a definite progress. So, instead of following his brother to the elevator, he simply waved at him and left the Barracks.

He hadn’t really had the time or strength to explore the place before, and he intended to catch up on everything he’s missed so far.

This place sure was green. There were trees, flowers and bushes growing left and right, housing birds and other small animals. It was a really nice sight, much better than in Midgar. Most of the ‘upper world’, as it was called here, was industrialized. Fabrics, buildings and parking places replaced parks and forests. Every tiny space was used by humans to build something there, whether it was another house or a statue of some lousy politician.

The air was clean, too. Axel hadn’t really realized it before, but there was something so incredibly refreshing about living in a smog-free environment for once. The air in Midgar was so bad that people should have worn masks. _Should_ have. It was rare to see someone with a mask on their face, as people didn’t really think about their health, and the government didn’t find it necessary to spread the word about how unhealthy breathing in smog all the time might be. Besides, for a fair share of people, something like a mask was a luxury they couldn’t afford.

Unemployment and poverty rates have risen a lot in the past few years. It was especially visible in the southern part of the country, in cities like Midgar and Hollow Bastion. The ones closer to Bevelle, the capital, were much better-off.

Compared to the upper world, Radiant Garden was like an utopia. There was plenty of food, everyone was treated like equals, everyone was given a home. It seemed unreal, that such a place could exist, and he instantly wondered what the catch was. Was the leader of this place corrupted? Were people here playing Robin Hood, stealing everything from the rich assholes of the world above? Did they secretly train all of these people and then hand them over to the government, so they could serve in the military?

He knew too little about this place for his comfort. Everyone seemed so happy here, but there had to be something. Some _catch_. Axel couldn’t just believe that a place like this existed, so full of happiness and peace, while thousands of people starved and died from illnesses in the world above every day. If they were so adamant on helping these in need, why haven’t they brought all of these who begged on the streets here? Why would they bring Larxene, who must have been rather well-off if she was the country’s MMA champion? Why bring _him_? Sure, he and Reno weren’t rich, but they had enough. They had food. They had shelter. Why bring them and not the starving woman from Sector 2?

“No matter how much we wish to, we cannot help everyone” Axel jumped at the voice, startled. He turned around, his eyes landing on a petite blonde girl that showed him to his room the first day here. He was pretty sure her name started on ‘N’.  

“Naminé. My name is Naminé” she smiled at him kindly, but made no move to approach him.

“Wha-“ she was either really good at reading people, or she was a mind-reader. Just as the thought appeared in his mind, the blonde giggled.

“Something like that. I do have power over mind, but it is not limited to thoughts. I specialize in memories and feelings connected with them, actually. With a few simple words and drawings, I could make Roxas forget the past you share. It would make approaching him easier” at his incredulous look, she giggled

“But I won’t. He is precious to me, and his memories are his own. I meddle with the minds of the ones who are above. Sometimes, of these who come here and do something unforgiveable. We do not kill, but we do remove these sort of people from our city. But we cannot let them out with the memories of us. We couldn’t risk them spreading word. The Shadows always listen, always seek new leads”

“If you can meddle with their memories, why not just make them have a change of heart so they can rule the place correctly?” he asked suspiciously. Something fishy was going on here, alright. But she just smiled at him softly, albeit there was something sad about it.

“The ones in power are closely connected with the Darkness. I do not have enough power to change all of their memories or thoughts. Minds that corrupted are hard to control. A decade ago, we lost someone precious with a gift like mine. She tried to get through the barrier in the President’s mind. In the end, she lost her sanity and her life” though her soft smile didn’t disappear, her voice broke just a little. Axel knew better than to probe at a subject that was clearly painful to talk about. Despite popular belief, he wasn’t that much of an asshole anymore.

For a second, they just stared at each other, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Again, she was the first one to break the silence.

“You know, I was ready to hate you, at first” he raised his eyebrow. Sensing his confusion, she elaborated.

“When Roxas came here, his soul was so tattered and miserable. It took weeks for him to open up to us. It took him months to really smile a smile that reached his eyes and wasn’t fake. It took him years to become who he is now. He was battling with demons you did not know about. In his time of need, you pushed him away. You were cruel to him, and your words left his heart bleeding for a long time” even though her words were accusing, her eyes were gentle and understanding. Forgiving.

It made him feel worse.

“I knew who you were. I am one of the people who does background research about a person. I knew everything Roxas had gone through even before he told me himself. I had known you years before I saw you in Hollow Bastion over a week ago. As I said, Roxas is precious to me.  And I was ready to hate you, for how immature and childish and cruel you had been to him” she approached him, taking his hand in her own. He tried not to flinch at the contact.

“But I saw your memories, too. I saw your thoughts. Your regret and shame. You have changed. And I realized, you were just as lonely as Roxas had once been. The confidence and cockiness are nothing but a mask. Underneath it all, your heart is pure. You are a good man, Axel” she squeezed his hand, offering him a gentle smile

“I am afraid that Roxas is known for holding grudges. It will take a lot of time for him to forgive you. But he will, if he sees that you have changed. And he _knows_ you have. You just have to be patient. Besides, I am sure he misses you just as much as you miss him. It’s just a matter of time before you reconcile” she let go of his hand and turned around, disappearing somewhere between the trees.

It was then, that he realized he had wandered into a forest of some sorts. He had _absolutely_ no idea where he was or how he got there. Or how to get _out_ of there, for that matter.

But he couldn’t bring himself to panic. Not when Naminé’s words were still ringing in his ears.

“I never said I missed that asshole” he grumbled, shoving his hands into his pockets.

As he pushed through the trees, trying to find his way back, he tried to convince himself of the truth behind his words.

* * *

  _I can't undo the things that led us to this place_  
_But I know there's something more to us than our mistakes_  
_So is it you or is it me_  
_I know I'm so blind when we don't agree_  
_But you should've known me by now_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am very sorry for how long it took me to write this. My life kind of fell apart in December, and I've been picking up pieces ever since. Between mourning, studying, working and getting over someone, it's been a bit of a mess. I'll probably be very busy for the following few weeks (exams, you know how it is), but I'll try to upload the next chapter faster than this time. Sorry for the wait again. 
> 
> Also, thanks so much for all the positive feedback. It really means loads to me. So, thank you. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope you will continue to do so. 
> 
> As for Larxene doing MMA, that's a personal headcanon of mine. I like to think that she's a Beauty Queen that could knock you out with a punch. You know, Hot & Strong. Heh. Because, oh come on! She's been living with twelve guys, she's probably tougher than Xemnas... esh, I'm rambling. Whatever. 
> 
> Again, thanks so much for all the support and I hope you'll have awesome weeks. Love you all! (Seriously. You're all precious. Thanks for existing *wink*)


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